Ghana Adopt Three

Updates on simple pleasures...

2011-11-19T09:31:00.001-08:00

Difficult issue

2011-10-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

Our children amaze us. They really do. They have come so far and been through so much and one of them has an issue that really needs devotion. I need to seek some outside help because I haven't gotten it figured out, but I am going to give myself some time, once work is over, to really focus on this issue, but the sooner the better. The rate of acceleration has increased.

I don't know if I'll talk about what it is specifically because that balance of what is private and what would benefit more than us is a delicate balance in the world of the Internet. Oh, I can dance like a joyful kid in the goofiest way, but darker parts we are so trained to disguise. Except when we think we're really alone, we also have someone out there that needs to hear it all the more because it is a pivotal time in their lives.

Anyway, I feel like life is always this wrestling, pushing, pulling thing and I am so in need of a breath. Soon... Soon... Soon...

Kinderdork

2011-09-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

I have long been unsure about how to go about this blog. I feel like it needs to mostly stay adoption related, but it hasn't because life isn't really about adoption most of the time. So, I am starting a new one that is not defined, but is a catch all. I have so many different things that come up that I'd like to talk about (like my rant below) that just don't quite fit here, inclduing some of the Macy's adventures. So, my new blog is kinderdork.blogspot.com. Hope you'll pop by. :)

The Pendulum of Education has gone TOO FAR

2011-08-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.

~ Albert Einstein

I saw a post from my son's favorite teacher this morning, wondering if she makes a difference- feeling so disheartened that she didn't want to get out of bed. This is the teacher that inspired my son to love science. He now finds it fascinating and couldn't wait to get working on the science fair project this past year. He speaks so highly of her and feels like she is one of the best teachers he's ever had. And she feels like a failure?

Why?

Standardized testing, that's why. She got the results of her students' performance on the new MSP yesterday. Obviously they weren't what she was hoping for. One snapshot test on one day. One mode of expression (the complete opposite of how were taught to teach, by the way). One test in a sea of tests that go on for days.

Some kids didn't sleep the night before because their neighbors were fighting. Some kids didn't get breakfast that morning. Some kids parents are getting a divorce. Some kids get terrible test anxiety. Some kids are confused by how to fill the bubbles in. Some kids are still learning English. Some kids grew 2 years in their knowledge the past year, but not enough to pass this particular test. Some simply don't care about doing well in school. Some don't have anyone outside of school that cares either. Many could show you their knowledge in another format.

It doesn't matter... All any of us are judged on is this one test. The students and teachers alike. As if students are an assembly line product, not dynamic, complex people with so many factors involved in their success or failure. Their home life, their natural ability (including learning disabilities many are saddled with), their instruction, their insecurities and the support they have outside of school all are a part of a puzzle that all fits together, but teachers are the only ones that can be held accountable. And so we are...

Most of the teachers I know absolutely give everything they have and then some to serve their students well. Not all, but most, care deeply and yet, in this current climate, we're all failures because of this test (unless you teach at a school with limited low income and/or ELL students, then maybe you're fine- but don't think it is because you're better teachers). We're differentiating, identifying learning objectives and teaching to those, forming skill groups to help kids that are still missing something, we're communicating with parents, we're collaborating with other teachers to get better and solve problems we can't solve on our own.

I know because I'm there, I'm in it and I see it. I've vowed not to teach above 2nd grade again (if I can avoid it), not because I don't love kids in that age group, but because the sickening state of the standardized testing environment is more that my constitution can take. It is a soul killer for me and for the students. The stress to perform on ONE test is just too much.

We've gone too far in the wrong direction to try to produce student success. We're only looking to one factor as the solution (teachers) when there is so much more going on. We need to address the whole puzzle if we really want to make a difference and we need to recognize that one test, one day isn't always going to paint an accurate picture of the reality. We need students to take responsibility for their learning, parents to support their kids and to expect them to do well in school, we need to honor different modes of output (some will argue that performing on a test is a necessary evil and I ask WHY? Answer: cheaper, non-biased is all. Where in REAL life do you have to sit down and show your knowledge in that format? That is just a school thing).

What IS the goal of education? What do we really want out students to become? Life-long learners? So beating the joy out of learning and stifling curiosity to "stay on target" is going to do that? Writing compare and contrast essay after compare and contrast essay is going to inspire our kids? We want creative thinkers, we say, but how do we show that in school? Do we ask them to output creativity enough? Do we ask for original thought or a regurgitation of facts? Formulaic responses is what we expect, for the most part.

I don't pretend to have all of the answers, but I do know that we've got to start hanging on that pendulum and start brining it back down (and sadly, it keeps getting pushed farther and farther in the wrong direction). The key to most anything is balance and we're WAY OUT OF BALANCE in education right now.

*** Just an add on after getting some responses. I am not anti- MSP, but anti-it being EVERYTHING in how our students and teachers are viewed as successes or failures. ***

Ocean Shores, WA

2011-08-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

I had forgotten that I booked a stay in Ocean Shores, WA way back in October and when I first got the reminder to pay the balance on the little cabin I felt a rush of "I don't have time to take 5 days away!" and then I realized that this was exactly what our family needed. It was absolutely glorious- we had sun almost the whole time, which is a huge rarity on our Washington beaches!

No email, no auction, no moving, no school stuff, no Da Vincineers, no drama... Just US together. We walked the beaches, collected shells, played in the waved, studied sea creatures, watched birds, flew kites, built sand castles and dug huge holes for no apparent reason. We buried each other in sand. We got soaked. We had s'mores. We played Farkel. We watched a movie or two. GREAT, perfect time!

This place means a lot to me- this is where my mom, sister and I escaped to when we finally left my dad. Nobody knew where we were so he wouldn't find us. This is the place I traveled to with my family and came back from, having missed Chester so much (and he missed me so much) that we decided to get married. This is the place both Jonah and Luke had their first family vacation. This year was our first time there as a complete family, but it won't be our last. We loved it and needed it. We've never needed it more, actually! Perfectly perfect!

New perception of favorite quote

2011-08-06T10:35:00.000-07:00

I have long been a quote girl. I love a good quote. I have several that are incredibly special to me, really what I consider to be my "cornerstone" quotes, but my favorite has always been "You can do no great things, only small things with great love, " by Mother Teresa. It has been in my signature line for several years now.

It used to mean to me that whatever kindness was given in love was a beautiful gift. It still means that, but now, considering the blessings in my life, I can see that it means something else too. Because I have the ability to give a "bigger" gift, it doesn't mean that mine means more than one that is less in size. The important part is the love. The love- the intention behind the gift. It is not a great thing to give more because one can, it is a great thing to give of ourselves, with love. And the gifts we have to give are the blessings that God has given us, they truly aren't our TO give anyway. We receive and we can choose to find ways to bless others with what we are given- do we have talents to share, time to donate, extra money? What love are we showing our fellow human beings, animals, the world? The causes that need us are already on our hearts.

I know that some may value certain types of giving more than others, but I truly believe that God does not.

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." ~ Mother Teresa

Smart and Good

2011-08-02T14:34:00.000-07:00

Smart and Good.

Those are 2 things I had beat into be that I wasn't by my father. I was stupid and a bad person. Everything he ever said to me or did to me had one of those 2 messages, or both, attached. I don't think either is true and yet, I still feel like I'm living trying to prove him wrong sometimes. Trying to really convince myself that I am smart and good. I want others to think those things of me, which is truly silly. I shouldn't need any validation or reassurance. I realize that I will need to continue to work on this area, and my need for approval from others, as I finish out my 30's. I am not disheartened by needing to continue working on myself. It is when I believe that there is nothing left to be done that I'll be delusional!

My experience in school has always been one that helped me feel like I wasn't dumb. I was in a gifted program in grade school, which dud much for my esteem at a time when I needed some, desperately. In middle school I met a bully that put me in my place, big time, when I was open in my math class about how I thought. She taught me to not share anything in class and that was when I started to shut down in school. I still got A's, because I had to until we left my dad, but I stopped investing and caring. When I got to high school I only did enough to get by (though I did fail one class- algebra 2... I just stopped going). I didn't even know what I could do. Not trying has a way of protecting us from our potential failures while keeping us from feeling any joy of success. It is a very safe place to be. Safe, but uneventful.

So, I took a little breather and started in at community college and it came time for math. I was terrified. I had shut off to math after 7th grade and that bully (who made my one safe place completely unbearable, just like home). I had never tried in math since, really. Could I even do it? And this same quarter I had a very inspirational English professor that made me feel passionate about the English literature we were studying. I dug in and really worked. And I passed both classes with flying colors. It felt great. I could!

I took some time before starting my teacher ed program. I had long been told that I would be a great teacher (maybe because of how dang bossy I am?), but for me I had some very important soul searching to do. What would I do when I inevitably would have an abused child in my room? Would I be able to handle it? Would I be able to resist scooping up that child and running off with them? Eventually, I knew I'd be able to be ok with it and I promised that I would always open the door for students to share if they needed to do so.

I had one professor that scared the pee out of me. He was smart, passionate, demanding, challenging and cared deeply about what he did to educate us. Every class was filled with scary mid-terms and finals (I used to get terrible test anxiety too- fear of failure!). Every class I had with him I felt beyond intimidated. He was a powerful presence, though I always understood his goal was to make us all take what we were learning seriously. He believed in our power to shape young minds and demanded we perform at the level our future students deserved.

When I finished my library classes and knew I could apply them towards a masters that I could finish up here, I decided I simply must. It would be so wasteful not to apply those 29 credits to a 45 credit masters degree, plus I could finish it up here in our hometown. My second masters class was with this same intimidating professor and I'm going to tell you, I was nervous. Men in powerful positions do intimidate me still and I don't really know how to "be" with them. But, as an instructor for my masters classes (I've now had 3 with him), he has been flexible and understanding (and SO great during the contest). He continues to challenge us to grow, but we're teachers now. We're pursuing our masters degrees. We've proven our dedication to students and the expectations he has reflect that. They are still high, but take into consideration that we are full-time teachers as well. I don't feel that there is hoop jumping. The work is meaningful.

This summer I have taken 2 classes- one is my independent master's project class (still finishing that up) and the other was a philosophy class with this same professor (he is also my advisor for my project). Throughout our reflection papers, he has posed some very interesting questions and engaged me in some powerful dialogue. And recently, he mentioned to me that he thought I should consider getting my PhD. Honestly, I almost cried at the suggestion. This is an intelligent, passionate, bright, dedicated educator with years of experience that thinks I could do that!? Wow. As a girl that always wanted to feel smart and has doubted my own abilities, it was a huge compliment. And today he sent me back my last reflection paper and this time told me that he believed that my educational beliefs are the kinds of thoughts that should be shaping other future teachers and that he "hoped" I would pursue my PhD and be a teacher of teachers. Again, wow. I am so thankful for a compliment like that, especially from someone that I respect and admire.

Now, I am SO not ready to do that yet and in fact, have decided to put off finishing my masters project (which I originally planned to finish completely fall quarter and earn that masters) for 2 quarters so I can start the school year, get Da Vincineers going and try to get back to more of a normal family life, but what an interesting thought. I do like a challenge and I do feel that higher education would also be a place to have a profound impact. It is certainly something to simmer on that proverbial back burner. No matter what though, I have one of the best compliments a person like me could get. Someone that I once found intimidating and worried I would never be good enough for has allowed me to prove myself to him and thinks what I feel, think and believe are worthy ideas- worthy enough to help shape future teachers. It means more than I can say.

Now, I suppose, I better get back to that master's project work, huh?!

Moving in

2011-07-29T22:28:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here in our new house and am realizing that, indeed, I actually live here. I have been fastidious so far, cleaning up every little mess so it stays "nice." I guess that's a good thing, though I may be driving the kids crazy. Being tidy with 5 kids isn't easy. We've made a lot of moving in progress and I find myself feeling guilty when I take breaks. I can't seem to do it for more than 5 minutes until the kids' bedtime hits. This is both good (progress!) and bad (exhaustion!). I'm starting to wonder if relaxing is something I just don't know how to do anymore. I'm not even saying that to be funny, I kind of mean it.

I feel pretty good about how far we've come, well, until I look in the garage! It's insane in there! It looks worse than it is- Christmas decor, Chester's art stuff, outdoor items, tools... it all is big stuff and takes up a buttload of room. It looks like a nightmare, plus we've put all the empty boxes in there that need to be broken down. I don't even know if I really believe that it isn't that bad or not, but it feels better to say at least!

Today we got the kids rooms set up. The older kids did their own and I helped the little boys. It was pretty fun at first and they are all set up and organized. The downside with 5 kids and this much activity is the freaking fighting! And the not following the rules! And the doing what we just asked them NOT to do again and again! Honestly, most of the time in life I thoroughly enjoy being a mama, but today there were lots of moments where I just was so fed up. No patience left. I realize that all of the changes, though good, are a stressor on us all. The kids are feeling out the new house rules, they're tired, not settled, amped. Chester and I are tired too and there is so much more to do- it makes it hard to have patience for the same BS over and over again. I found myself doing the long distance head pinch a few times today. You ever do that? It is where you look at someone from across the room and line up your thumb and pointer finger with your eye so the person's head appears to be squished when you close your fingers together. Real mature, huh? Yep, that's where I am at! Immature, annoyed, impatient me! Oh well, it will pass! Besides MOST of this is good, good stuff!

Also, as a side, I'm in a commercial for Macy's with Clinton Kelly that is airing now. It is on Facebook, but also on TV. I haven't seen it yet, but a few people have. SO weird! Gotta enjoy all this stuff... it is fading, the attention part and I've had a good time, but the big stuff is going to last. Like this amazing home of ours. We're settled, secured (though we're not truly settled in it yet). What an amazing, amazing thing!

Wow!

2011-07-19T21:39:00.001-07:00

I have been feeling better mentally as this auction is winding down. I don't have it close to closed out yet, but I've got the organization of "how-to" figured out, so I am glad for that! Half of the stuff has been picked up or mailed. People have been SO kind about coming by to get it rather than asking me to deliver. I wish I could explain what a gift THAT is, but in the midst of moving, it is just the biggest burden lifted! Another delight about that is that I've gotten to chat with some really great people. Some I know well and some I barely know, but all good souls. There is just a beautiful energy about coming together over a cause as wonderful as deserving kids! We're all happy to be there, knowing that this little exchange means something real.

On the eve of signing papers for the new home we'll be living in I am just so washed over with gratitude and amazement. We would be moving this summer, no matter what, but because of the massive support from so many people, we're moving into a wonderful home with plenty of room, great neighbors and in a great neighborhood. It is ours, but only because of this huge gift from Macy's, the voters and because God decided to bless us with it. I am not going to worry about not being worthy of it. I know I am not. I am going to appreciate it, for what it has done for my family, for what it has allowed us to do for things that matter to us and for the courage it has given me to take ideas and do something with them.

Things have continued to be busy and I know I haven't come close to processing this experience. I have moments of realization of what has happened, but when will it sink in? Maybe our first night in our new home? I'm not sure, but I know I am SO looking forward to that first night. Tucking my children into their rooms, painted the color of their choice (never been able to do that with our family of 7!), walking downstairs to the living room and sitting with my husband in the house we will (hopefully) raise our children in... I can't believe this is real and I am SO grateful! Crap, I'm gonna cry!

Ferrell Kids Auction Dance

2011-07-17T23:04:00.000-07:00

The kids worked on this for 2 weeks to perform at the auction. It was so great hearing them say, every day, "We need to go practice for Mary and Joseph now" and see them all ban together. They did all the choreography themselves and I'm pretty partial to the freestyle solos near the end. :) I love my kids. They are such loving, giving souls. I love how they work together and love being a part of something that matters. :)

Auction totals!

2011-07-17T22:03:00.000-07:00

Lots of people have been asking and last night was wonderfully fun and successful (though the vast majority of the money was earned online). Our kids performed a routine they've been working on for 2 weeks (been trying to post it, but no luck), members from the Apple-Ettes dance team, singers, and members from the high school Jazz ensemble all provided entertainment (thanks Marie, for arranging all of that- LOVE you girl!). My friend Misi got her church to help out with providing the location and tons of folks pitched in to set up too. It was a lot of fun! We weren't sure we'd have enough tables for all of the donations. People have been SO great about donating to help these 2 kids.

It was so wonderful to be able to read the letter Mary and Joseph's mother wrote to the attendees. They were touched by her words and love. She had some pictures printed and sent to us, so it made a nice memory board and visual for the bidders. We had a fun little raffle too. It was a good time with LOTS of sweet treats for sweet Mary and Joseph!

Today was all about notifying bidders if they won or not and God bless my husband for helping me out with that. It was a big job! We got everything organized by multiple purchases and sorted by donation type so we can box and ship as payments are made. Good stuff. I am blessed to have some local folks that are going to come over for a boxing session to help us out with that.

So here are the numbers: Provided everyone comes through with promised bids the auction brought in, before doubling, $6464 for Mary and Joseph! That is amazing! Bless you all for your contributions- donating items, bids, and donations! Double that and we're looking at $12,928! Since there was easily 10K in love from everyone out there, the total will actually be $16,464! GREAT WORK EVERYONE!

Big Day!

2011-07-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

The Silent Auction is finally here! I am nervous, but excited! We've got lots of people all pitching in to help make it a success and hopefully some folks will show, but no matter what, even if we don't do much more than the online auction, it will make a huge difference. To those of you that bid and shared, thanks so much for helping Mary and Joseph come home to their family. What a great day that will be!

It was fun to print out the bidding sheets and see just how huge it is. I hope we have enough table space because BOY 103 items is a lot of stuff. People from all over the country and lots in my own community of Wenatchee have really stepped up to help. I'm thrilled to be able to match the bids and donations up to 10K and provide shipping. I made public promises when I asked for votes that I would not only take care of my family but also do things that matter with the funds, like helping older orphans and sibling groups and starting Da Vincineers. It isn't a typical situation of a person that HAS money funding things, it is a person that was publicly gifted money wanting to be sure that folks know that I am making good on my promises. I just want it clear that that is MY perspective on making it known that were doing that. We were advised that matching bids makes a HUGE difference in what people are willing to give and bid (if bidding $20, they know it will be $40, so maybe they'll push it to $25 so it will mean $50). Others disagree with this, and that is their call. I know my heart.

When I looked in the closet today and saw all of the wonderful things that different families donated and made for Mary and Joseph, I felt so honored to be a part of it. I hope that these 2 kids will get more people thinking about those older orphans that wait. I've already had a few people asking some really great questions, so THAT makes me happy. Seeing so many people coming together for a positive cause makes me happy, seeing so many people excited to see Mary and Joseph come home to their family makes me happy, having supportive, encouraging people that recognize my intentions makes me happy. I can't wait to share the beautiful letter their future mother wrote to the attendees tonight. Her words of love for her children are incredible and it is time for these 2 to have their home with her as their mother.

Our new Home

2011-07-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

I've shown a few pictures of our new house and it has been such an odd feeling as I am packing to realize that one way or the other we were going to be moving this summer, but instead of our 1000 sq ft, 1 bath house, we're moving into one that has 4 bedrooms and is in a great neighborhood. What a huge blessing! Though I am very excited about the house, I am more excited about the neighbors!

Our next door neighbors are an adoptive family with 4 children and they are culturally diverse, as we are. Their daughter was in Yaw's first grade class and they bonded in a beautiful way, which is unlike Yaw, so to see them next door to each other, able to play almost whenever they want to? That's going to be gold right there and feels like a huge blessing in itself. Their oldest son and our oldest son are working on a gum blog together and their daughter is a year younger than our girls. They are all very excited to be able to spend time together!

Another fun thing is that Jonah gets to have a little guy look up to him, for a change. Their 2 year old son thinks Jonah is wonderful! Jonah is rather enjoying have someone think he's the cool older dude, though he doesn't fully understand that a 2 year old doesn't have the same judgment as the older kids. We adults were hanging around when we had dinner a couple of weeks ago, chatting, and Jonah came in to have some grapes. He was chatting with us, popping grapes, no worries. After a while, we ask him, "Jonah? Have you seen M?"

He says, "Yeah. He went out the front door, up the street, but I'm sure he'll be back."

Of course, we were all running out the door to find little M and, thankfully, he hadn't gotten far, but it was then that we laughed at the realization that Jonah has never had a younger to look after. He's always BEEN the youngest! We had a chat and I think he'll let us know the next time the little guy takes off.

So fun and so good to have wonderful things to look forward to and focus on. Thinking grateful thoughts is really helping me through the busy, crazy of right now. There is much to be thankful for and I am glad for the blessings and loving people I have in my life. I look forward to deepening the relationships with our neighbors. I am so glad God has placed us next to these amazing people!

Last Call for Online Auction for Mary and Joseph!

2011-07-14T21:08:00.000-07:00

This is the last 24 hours that the online auction to bring long waiting orphans Mary and Joseph home to the amazing family that waits for them (not ours, people often ask me that, so to be clear this is for another family)! There are 103 items to bid on and many are much lower than their retail value. All winning bids and donations will be matched up to 10K, so this is a chance to make a real difference for these kids. Free shipping too! Pop over and check it out. LOTS of people have contributed and LOTS of hours have gone into this, so hopefully we can make a strong push in the last 24 hours!

If you want to have the best chance to win, you will want to put in a "proxy" bid after you register as high as you're willing to go because most of these items will go to the live event were having on Saturday. If the proxy bid you put in (which remains secret) is higher than the highest bid at the live event, the item will be yours for the amount just above the highest live event bidder. There is a more detailed example on the website for the auction if you want to read more. Also, you can donate by clicking the "donate money" button on the left, if you wish.

It would be amazing if you'd consider spreading the word to get others joining in! http://www.32auctions.com/organizations/1754/auctions/1913

What to write about...

2011-07-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

There are times where there is a lot of processing that happens in a person's life and there are times where you have a lot to say, but nowhere to say it. I've often come to my blog in those times, but it isn't the right place right now for much of it. Doesn't really seem like anywhere is right right now. Not much is where it should be- if I look up there is chaos absolutely everywhere.

Moving boxes packed to eye level in one corner, auction stuff in another corner that has flowed out of the "auction closet" where I promised it would all stay, garage sale boxes to go through... everywhere. It is that same cluttered look in each room, except the bathroom and as nice as that toilet is, I don't tend to want to hang out there. And I'm too lazy to thoroughly clean the tub for a bath. And it needs a deep cleaning- so much. Not gonna happen.

I have too many lists and they're in too many places. I don't have a good homework plan going. I have done nothing for my "self-directed" masters class at all and the other one has only happened because I had deadlines that I had to meet. I haven't finished reading my Da Vinci book I feel I must before I start on curriculum. I am forgetting meetings if I don't put it in the iCal (writing it on a list isn't any good because I don't know where all of my lists even are!). I haven't had my kids on a regular summer skill practice schedule. Hit and miss and I'm letting lots of things go I wouldn't normally.

I don't know what to do about a lot of this new stuff. I don't know how to start a non-profit and even with a Score counselor's help I'm confused and completely intimidated. I don't know how to handle changes that are happening in lots of areas of my life, including the scrutiny that everything I do seems to be under. I am tired. I am grumpy. I want to take a good long break from everything right now. I don't want to pack. I don't want to sort and price crap. I don't want to think about the stuff I have to get done for Saturday. I should be looking forward to this event and I know I'll have fun once it comes, but it is all the prep that is getting to me. I have 2 amazing women that have stepped up to help locally with organizing some key stuff and I am SO thankful. At one point I considered just calling off the live event and limiting it to online, I am sorry to admit. But these 2 stepped in and said "I want to help" and they truly meant it. What a gift. I am very thankful to so many people that have contributed, have bid and have been spreading the word. What a beautiful thing for all of us to be a part of helping these 2 kiddos come home to their amazing family. God bless them all.

I keep telling myself that it will let up and once we get moved and settled and the non-profit by laws are done, then it will be easier (though I know better- Da Vincineer space and classes to actually plan for and school starting approaching, but I am trying to forget that!), but I know that I need to seek peace within all of this. I need to work for it and carve it out and make it as important as all of the things I have to do. Tonight my family and I all went out to dinner and a movie. We've never done that- both on the same night. It was really fun and so great to take some time out to enjoy life for a bit. To forget all of the things weighing me down and wearing me down. I feel like some people might throw a tomato at me for complaining with all of the blessings I've been given. It isn't that I don't appreciate them, I just am exhausted. I can't keep going like this.

Love

2011-07-12T12:10:00.001-07:00

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. ~Josh Billings

84 Items- Matching bids to 10K- Help older orphans!

2011-07-08T08:53:00.001-07:00

We have 84 items, including some great Ghanaian goodies, a 3DS Nintendo, Quilts, Getaways, Jewelry & so much more... all to help an older sibling group, that has waited for more than 3 years to finally have a family, to come home to the family that is theirs. OUR family isn't adopting them, but we're going to match all winning bids and donations up to 10K. Please bid and SPREAD THE WORD! I costs nothing to repost this to help!

http://www.32auctions.com/organizations/1754/auctions/1913

Online Auction starts Friday for Mary and Joseph! Spread the word!

2011-07-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

ONLINE AUCTION BABY! OVER 50 ITEMS!!! http://www.32auctions.com/organizations/1754/auctions/1913?

ALL WINNING BIDS AND DONATIONS MADE THROUGH THE "Donate Money" BUTTON WILL BE MATCHED BY THE FERRELL FAMILY, UP TO $10,000! PLEASE spread the word. We can do so much if you just do a bit to help. There are over 50 items to bid on including handmade quilts (one with Ghanaian fabric), Ghanaian items, Nintendo 3DS, gently used Kindle, weekend getaways (one that can be used anywhere in the US!), artwork, deer antlers (yup, that's right), Clinton Kelly inscribed book, handbags, Amazon gift card, Dick Butkus signed mini helmet (Johnny Bench mini catchers mask also), baby items, and so much more.

All of the funds raised by this auction will be donated to Adoption Advocates International and Project Global Hope to help bring Mary an Joseph, 2 older orphans that have been waiting for over 3 years for a family, home to the family that now waits for them. I met them when I adopted my own kids from Ghana nearly 3 years ago and we've prayed for them daily since. I never forgot the sweet girl that was so happy for everyone else getting their families that would then go off to the corner and cry because nobody ever came for her. Someone is coming for you now Mary! And we're going to make it happen as soon as possible!

Our minimum goal for this auction is to cover the cost of the FBI fingerprinting and adoption agency fees, which totals nearly $5000. But since we're willing to pony up 10K, lets make the REAL goal 20K so we can fund as much of this as possible right out of the gate.

If we exceed our minimum goal, we will continue to work to fund Mary and Joseph's adoption until it is fully funded (should be around 25K- 30K). If we are so blessed that we raise more than what their adoption costs AAI will contribute to the Grace Fund for other older orphans and Project Global Hope will use the funds to do humanitarian work in Ghana benefiting woman and children.

Please help! Even if you can only donate $5, it will turn into $10 through our matching donation! Let's DO this. Mary and Joseph are MUCH older orphans and they've waited so long. Be a part of making this happen for these 2 deserving kids!

Jimmy's Great Escape (and my braless recovery)

2011-07-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

*** Note, this post is not me asking you for dog whispering advice. I have many areas in life I do very well with and dog training is not one of them. If you come to my house Jimmy won't jump on you, but he WILL stuff his nose in your nooks and crannies. He won't nag you too much for food, but if you turn your back or are shorter than 4 feet he will take it. He's 90% awesome just as he is. Give me a break and cut me some slack on the doggy manners, will ya?***

Jimmy, our exceptionally fast smooth collie, made a break for it yesterday. Sadly, that means I was running through the neighborhood with meat in my hands, braless, wearing snowflake pj pants, trying to lure him back. Our neighbor, bless her heart, had attempted to secure Jimmy by grabbing his collar, but unfortunately he whipped his head just right as he went by her and slipped out of the collar!

As I exit the house, with pastrami in hand, I see our pack of kids chasing him down the block and down at the end is Jimmy, sweet Jimmy, with an utter joy about him that can only be produced through true freedom! He was running so fast from yard to yard, sprinting down the sidewalk, it truly was a beautiful, if horrific, sight. Times like these I wish I had a farm...

So begins the "Come here Jimmy" chanting and whistling as I wave my meat in the air and then lower down in the feeding position. Normally, I have hot dogs for the escape and he'll take a run by and be lured by the glorious scent of unknown turkey parts in a mystery casing, but the pastrami was not so tempting! WHAT?! I've never had meat fail me before!

After a few swipes and misses on my part, I finally managed to get ahold of Jimmy since he decided that the pastrami was adequate to at least slow down for, but I had no way to hold onto him! The collar was gone, so as soon as I had him around the neck he started fighting for freedom again. "Let me go woman!" his body screamed.

I had no choice but to literally tackle him to the ground and wrap my thighs and arms completely around his 65 pound body in my distant neighbor's front lawn. I tried to pick him up, but he was gyrating around so fiercely I didn't think I could do it, plus my low-riding boobs were stuck under him and that was quite uncomfortable, plus I was worried about tripping over them on the way home. The neighbor sent the kids down to get her harness she had for her dog and between my body slamming him and her helping to get it on we finally had him locked down and wrangled him home.

I got some exercise yesterday and Jimmy slept like a baby. The kid responsible for leaving the gate open has had his gonads removed, so all is right with the world.

And I'm kidding about the gonads...

Should I be Their Mom?

2011-06-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

With all of the blessings that have come into my life, I've been doing a lot of reflecting (my usual way, but I've been so busy the past few months that I haven't had time) on what this means for my life journey. What is God telling me? I don't think it is hard to hear Him either. I never have struggled much with that, but then, I realize that is one of the things I've been born with- an innate trust to listen and proceed along the path I believe is right. It is why I overcame my childhood as I did. I trust that the reason I feel things so strongly is because I am doing what I am supposed to do. If there is doubt, there is usually something I need to reconcile or it simple is the wrong decision. Fair enough. I know others might not agree with listening to the self as being the same as listening to God and that's fine. I just know my own truth. Fine by me if you have another way.

So, what is my purpose in this big win of mine? I believe it isn't any one thing, like advocating for older child adoption, at-risk youth education or being transparent about domestic violence. I think, for me, it is fleshing out all of those things, plus, hopefully, sending a message that God has created each of us as unique individuals that should be sharing our passions and gifts with the world, not by conforming ourselves to be like anyone else, but by being uniquely us. HE made us that way, after all.

And through all of this reflection I have also been really honest with myself about something else. My own adoption. I have no doubt that Ellen, Elizabeth and Yaw were meant to be my family, but I also know that they very well might not have needed to be. If their family could have supported them financially, would they have? My heart tells me they would have. The stories my children tell- the many visits they experienced at Kasoa (with gifts of food whenever they came), when their mother came to see them at Eban House, masked as their "aunt," since, on paper, they had listed their step-mom as their biological mother for ease of paperwork (the family's choice and AAI had no knowledge of that). The fact that Yaw came into the picture so much later to be adopted. The fact that their dad came to see them off. He met me and handed 3 of his babies to me to raise in America. When asked what he wanted them to know, he said "Tell them to not forget their village."

We talk with our kids all of the time about the loving choice their parents made for them. Their parents, I believe, knew that they were smart, talented people that, given the advantages in America, could make a life for themselves. They did not decide to let them be raised in an orphanage until they were old enough to contribute to the family to then be welcomed back into the fold, which I don't think should be judged either- lets be honest, none of us have ever experienced poverty to THAT level here in the US. Those aren't decisions we would ever HAVE to make. If you disagree with that I can bet you've never been out of the country to see anything different...

So, I guess I am being led to family preservation projects in the world of adoption, after Mary and Joseph come home. I've been working really hard to make this auction for Mary and Joseph happen and some of you, bless your hearts, have been helping too. Thank you. I know I need to begin work on this also because there is a part of my soul that cannot reconcile the fact that these 3 amazing children with gifts, talents and faults are someone else's children that I am raising. Poverty caused this. Ending their poverty, possibly, could have kept these 3 brilliant little minds in their own country. I am not sorry to love them and I do not doubt their life journey, but I do think that I have something very valuable to learn from these feelings.

At the same time, I know that there are incredibly dedicated adoption/family preservation advocates, there are many advocates for the ending of poverty, ending domestic violence, advocating for at-risk youth. Many of them are focused on their passions and do MUCH more that I could in any one area, but that is because I am meant to do some of each. That I know too. My contribution isn't less to this world because my interests are diverse, especially not with this opportunity I've been given. It has given me the chance to bring some attention to ALL of the things that really matter to me. My life has created those interests and they are very real to me. What a HUGE blessing.

500th post- Seattle!

2011-06-26T23:36:00.000-07:00

Just noticed that THIS is my 500th post! Wa-hoo! I guess? Where's the confetti? I mean, come ON! 500 posts is a pretty big deal, isn't it? Well, maybe not...

So, what shall we talk about on this monumental occasion? How about I talk and you listen? That's how these blogs work, isn't it? Sure you can comment later, but still, it is pretty much my show. I'm in a saucy mood, what can I say?

I shared a great night in Seattle with my bestie, Dida. We had a ton of fun while the rest of the family visited Chester's mom. Good planning! We did silly things we'd never get to do in real life and appreciated every moment. It is so nice to have a new bank of memories to share and joke about. I got that same experience with Jenny, my bestie from grade 5-9, in NYC a couple of weeks ago. So brilliant to have connection time with those that truly matter!

Our Seattle adventure included my first EVER delve into a mini bar, not crazy, but a lil' bit, an astonishing dinner out where we were gifted with free glasses of chablis, "just because" from the hostess. I personally believe chablis tastes like cold carbonated urine, but I did appreciate the sentiment behind the gift. ;) We finished with the most delicious of dessert sampling trays... salted chocolate caramels at Poppy's in Seattle may be inspired by the divine. Never had anything like them- perfection!

Then we went dancing in a gay bar. Yes. A gay bar. There is a very good set of reasons for that. The first is that gay men are not interested in what we have to offer and so we women are left alone with nobody trying to get up on us. Sure, we might get danced with, but not mauled like a mouse in a lion's den, bounced back and forth with reckless hands. As married women, that is much appreciated! Secondly, the music is always more pleasing at a gay bar. I have never been to a gay bar without an appreciation of the musical offerings (not that I've been to many, but still). I only go out once a year or so, so if I'm going to go, good music and not being groped are high on my list of needs. A gay bar offers that and I say "thanks!"

So, there you go. We finished Seattle off with some wandering around downtown after enjoying a lovely breakfast. It was just a grand time! We laughed so hard, came up with some great Da Vincineer ideas, and reconnected in profound ways. What a great way to spend a weekend!

Looking forward to a good chunk of kid time this week! It is ALL about us. Life is good!

HUGE Mary and Joseph news!

2011-06-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to share that the auction for Mary and Joseph, starting July 8th,

is getting a HUGE boost (we hope).

Every winning bid and every donation made through the auction will be matched

DOLLAR FOR DOLLAR

by the Ferrell family- up to $10,000!

Check out what we have for auction so far! Many more items are on their way and if

you just wish to donate cash through Paypal, there is a button on the upper left for you to do so!

The "donate now" button is working NOW!

http://www.32auctions.com/orga

nizations/1754/auctions/1913

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Spread the word!!!

Online Auction for Mary and Joseph!

2011-06-23T11:02:00.001-07:00

I have been a busy bee getting the online auction ready for the fundraiser to bring Mary and Joseph home to their family. Bidding starts on July 8th and we still need more donations! Check out what we have so far:

http://www.32auctions.com/organizations/1754/auctions/1913

Just as a refresher, our family met Mary and Joseph when we traveled to Ghana almost 3 years ago to bring our own children home. Mary's sweet, loving heart was a joy to be around. She was genuinely happy for other kids to have their families, but she wanted her own so much. It was heartbreaking to see her heart break again and again... Mary and Joseph captured another family's hearts while they traveled to pick up their adopted children and they are actively pursuing her adoption, though they are sorely lacking in the funding to bring them both home.

That is where we come in! Our family is dedicated to making this financial obstacle disappear and we're working on building on online auction/live silent auction. We hope you'll bid starting on July 8th! Also, if you have an item you'd like to donate to the cause, we'd LOVE to have your help. In fact, if you can get donations for services from your local area, there is no reason we can't feature those if you think you can get your local community to bid on them for a great cause! We're able to link to websites, so it is some great free advertising for donors too!

If you want to help, please send me an email at our Da Vincineer email: davincineers@gmail.com Any items donated will require a photo, brief description and estimated value prior to the start of the online auction. I will need the item mailed to before the live silent auction, so send an email and I'll let you know where to send it! Thanks!

This is a hybrid online/live silent auction so our online bidders will bid, with the highest bid rolling into the live auction event following. Our online highest bidder can put a "maximum" secret bid in before it goes to the live event so if the bidding at the live event goes higher than the published online bid, the online winner can still be victorious! Here is an example:

1. Let's say online bidding on our inscribed Clinton Kelly book reaches $84 at the online auction and that is YOUR bid. You know you'd be willing to go to $124, so that is your secret maximum bid you enter.

2. We print off the bidding sheet with your $84 bid and take it to the live silent auction. Bidders bid at the live event and it goes to $110.

3. YOU, the online bidder with the secret bid WIN, with a bid of $112 because the bidding goes in $2 increments!

4. The Ferrell family mails it to you since we're covering all shipping costs, unless you tell us otherwise.

Please feel free to spread the word to those that you think might be able to donate. I am ready to pony up the cash to list extra items and I think the money spent to do the hybrid auction will be well worth it! Let's get these kids home as soon as possible!

Questions about the Macy's Contest

2011-06-20T15:11:00.000-07:00

I asked for questions on my Facebook Page about the Macy's contest and here are the answers from the first 3. If you have one yourself, feel free to leave one. BTW, NYC with my best friend from childhood, Jenny, was AMAZING!!!!!

#1 From Heather: "Did you get a choice in hairstyle/color or did they just do whatever they wanted?"

Good question. A little of both, actually. Clinton and Kurt Lowry (Kurt is the hair magician) consulted together about what to do. I was asked what my actual hair color was (mousy brown) and Clinton said he likes to usually stay a shade or two within the natural color, but as they talked, red seemed to be where they wanted to go. They asked me how I felt about red and I was excited about it. Then they discussed the cut, which I was unclear about their plan. I knew it would be shorter, but really no clue about they style or how short it would be. I didn't know what my hair looked like until they turned me around, as you saw in the video!

They had mirrors covered or had me facing away from them throughout the entire process. The reveal was really a shock! I tried to resist the temptation to peek and I'm glad I did because it was such an amazing surprise!

#2 From Heather "Did they put you on a budget for each of your outfits?"

I had no say or part in the selection of clothes at all. They had a basic idea of what they want to do, with multiple options for variations of the basic outfit. The first outfit (with the white pants) they had me try on several different types of pants until Clinton found the one he liked best. Then he, and his team, start having me try on shoes and accessories until they get it the way they want it. I have NO idea what the outfits cost, but I'm betting a bit more than I'm used to spending! From the original makeover I got to keep outfit #2 (with the bitchin' leather jacket) and the reveal outfit. From the filming sessions I got to keep everything they had me appear in on camera. Awesomeness!

#2 From Marie "Do you know what you are going to do when you get to NYC to promote the back to school advertising?"

I didn't know anything about it until I got there actually! I found out when I arrived for the fitting the night before the taping that Clinton Kelly would be in it with me, which made me happy. :) They had me try on several outfits and the next day decided which one they wanted me to go with. Macy's had me film several options for this commercial, so they appear to be deciding exactly how they want to do it, but I can share that it is an exciting contest for schools! Yea Macy's! It will begin airing July 28th and is a 15 second spot.

Strep Throat, NYC, and a House

2011-06-14T10:29:00.001-07:00

***Update- they're letting me stay an extra night in NYC since I am willing to pay for the extra night. YEA! A whole day in NY to do whatever I wish with! Awesome! So, I'll rest on Sunday night when I get back!***

So, I neglect this blog much of the time. The interactive nature of Facebook lures me for almost all of my online time. I like shooting off a quick soundbite, getting responses and responding to others soundbites and pics other offer up. It is fun and I keep connected. Feels like less is required of me! The blog, anymore, feels like a place where I come when I have more to say, but I'm not really sure anyone is out there (well, Heather is and Anita, most of the time, though she's in Ghana- love my Ghana girls!). No "like" button or quick comments here. Sometimes there are comments I guess, but I never know who's reading...

So I am hope from school today after forcing myself to go yesterday for the Kindergarten Completion Ceremony with strep throat. I was SO sick all weekend with a nasty fever, sore throat, headache. Been on antibiotics for less than 48 hours and I bet I would feel better, except for the fact that I did NOT rest yesterday. I pushed it once again. I am starting to wonder if I will ever slow down... summer is rapidly approaching though and I MUST slow down. Sounds easy, but I'm doing MAJOR fundraising for Mary and Joseph to come home (yea!), taking 2 classes for my masters, MOVING into the most amazing home, working on getting the Da Vincineers from a dream into a reality by fall (though I may only launch it in my school to start and refine it), maybe going to Italy and yeah... lots of social events too. That will make it pretty busy, but I WILL get some rest time in there too.

And guess what I'm doing tomorrow? After school (I will miss the last half day on Thursday), I am flying to NYC to do a Back-to-school commercial for Macy's! How cool is that? Yes, I am TOO tired to do it, but lets be honest, when oh WHEN will I even be asked to do something like this again? I'm doing it and I'll rest late Saturday night when I get back. At least I am on antibiotics! And though I'll be going alone, I am looking forward to it. One last Macy's crazy, whirlwind trip. And my ugly butt is in a commercial. They're used to working with models... Hope they've got some seriously skilled makeup people because I'll got a zit the size of a dung beetle on my jaw that will require MAJOR work to cover it up.

And YES, we found an amazing house. We're still waiting for the paperwork from Macy's so the prizes can get distributed and THEN we'll have the check, but the house is amazing. I'll post a few pics below. It is truly everything we need and want- great location too! SO blessed are we! We close July 22nd, provided the money comes through. I don't think I'll really believe it until I see some zeros following a one! :) We LOVE this house!

Yaw's B-day!

2011-06-02T21:07:00.000-07:00

Wow, Yaw is 8! I can hardly believe it!

Yaw loves him some cake!

Lots of sweet hugs for his sisters and brothers. :)

Homemade cards are the only way to go!

And here is my cake for Yaw. It features the life cycle of a butterfly. The picture in the center is a chrysalis, NOT, I repeat NOT, a banana hammock. Just want to be clear on that.

No time to hide

2011-05-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about whether I should talk about this or not. I need to talk about it, but I am aware that I am being watched more closely than I ever have been before. I've shared with those closest to me about it. It was something I considered as a possibility that "could" happen with the exposure from the contest, but I didn't expect it really would happen. I have been SO honest on this blog about the realities of our adoption experience (good and bad) and my own past, specifically the violence I experienced as a child. So, why am I going to stop now? Because more people might be paying attention?

After 19 years of no contact, by his choice, I heard from my dad today. He sent a congratulations card and on the inside it said, "I'm proud of you. Love, Dad." That was it. My immediate reaction was terror. I was shaking and felt like I might vomit. He has my address! He knows where I live, even though I have never listed my address! My true reaction to him is deep, core-piercing fear. He wasn't a person that loved me and lost his temper once in a while. Not at all. There was no love and his mental and physical abuse was profound. He was brilliant and manipulated us expertly. He had me convinced that he could read my mind. We're talking THAT messed up.

That being said, I don't hate him. I forgave him a long time ago and I understand the root of his anger and issues. They make sense to me and I have long felt sorry that he had so many opportunities to love that he could not accept because of his own self-hatred and mental issues. I am not sure of his motivations. The handwriting on the envelope was not his, though the card was. Perhaps he wrote it under pressure from his new wife? I don't know. Maybe he wants to make peace before he dies? I don't know.

Those that love me are pretty pissed. NOW he's proud? NOW he makes contact? I've checked in with someone we have a mutual connection with to get his impression about what to do with this and what my dad's mental state is. My dad is 72. He isn't in good health. He has mobility issues. He isn't dangerous physically from a distance...

SO what to do? I think I've decided... I will send a short note thanking him for the time and effort to send the card. I will wish him peace and happiness in his life. I will send it and hope that is it. I suspect it will be. I honestly HOPE it will be. But, if it isn't the end, then I will deal with that too.

I just told my best friend LAST NIGHT that I didn't think I would hear those old recordings of hatred in my own head anymore when I feel low (You're so stupid I can't believe you can walk. I'd shoot you, but you're not worth the bullets.). I felt like I'd grown past that through this experience. I didn't think his words would scream at me in my weak moments anymore. Then the next day, the card arrives with a challenge I'm not sure I'm ready for. But, here it is anyway. Please pray for me. Thank you and I hope you appreciate the honesty. It doesn't get much more real than this.

What a week!

2011-05-28T19:11:00.000-07:00

So, then news has been out since last Tuesday. My school did an assembly to show the reveal video and then there were radio and newspaper interviews. Pretty fun stuff. Thursday night Macy's held a reception and it was BIZARRE to see posters of myself and to be asked to sign them. We did a fun interview where I got to share about Da Vincineers, some of the Clinton Kelly experiences, Italy dreams, and Mary. I enjoyed the experience and it was lovely to see so many folks there. The craziest part was afterwards- people lined up to shake my hand and get photos with me! What?! Crazy!

I currently can't go anywhere without being recognized- got my picture taken at the local diner last night! So funny. Everyone is very supportive and kind though and I'm drinking in my 15 minutes of fame. It will settle down soon.

We've also been blessed with lots of offers to help with the Da Vincineers website design, pro bono legal work, marketing services and more. How wonderful is that! We're looking for our family home and have a few we're excited about that will work for us AND for the Da Vincineers. I don't have the money yet, nor do I know when it or any of the other prizes are coming, but when I do, I'll be ready.

We've also got lots of people willing to help with fundraising for Mary! If you've thought about it, but haven't contacted me yet, I'd love to hear from you. Donations can come from anywhere for the silent auction! Also, if you wish to donate directly to Mary's adoption fund (and her brother Joseph too- he's being adopted by the same family! AWESOME!!!), please go here: https://npo.networkforgood.org/Donate/Donate.aspx?np

oSubscriptionId=2269 Then select "other" and in the designation type "Grace Fund for Mary." In addition, we're talking with another non-profit about the other expenses related to travel and such too. I'll post more once we get it finalized!

AMAZING NEWS!!!

2011-05-24T19:55:00.001-07:00

MAN! Has it been hard to not shout this great news from the rooftops! We WON! WE WON! WE WON!!! It still hasn’t sunk in fully and I’m not sure when, or if, it will! We’re so excited to be looking at a home- one that will meet our family’s needs and will also allow us to run the Da Vinci program out of our own home (ideally)!

THANK YOU ALL for you amazing support! Your love, comments, finger pushing and word-spreading blew me away. I took screen shots of your comments and will save them always because your words and willingness to fight for us to win mean so very much to me. I will never forget your passion! God bless you all for what you did to make this dream a reality! The East Wenatchee Macy’s is hosting a RECEPTION ON THURSDAY at 6pm. Please come if you can!

Thank you to Macy’s for this amazing adventure! Every step of the process was beautiful and the staff from Macy’s, JWT and Vimby were all incredible to work with. I have so much appreciation for the honest caring they showed my family. Thanks to Clinton Kelly- he helped me feel more beautiful than I ever have and increased my enjoyment of my life by encouraging me to take a few moments for me. He let me feel it was not only ok, but right, that I should feel like a beautiful woman- special and sparkly! Sometimes we working mamas forget that we’re also women that deserve to embrace that side of ourselves too.

WARNING! Novel to follow!

As for my goals, the Da Vinci program will be called Da Vincineers from this time forward- it has an engineer/imagineer feel to it that I really like and I think it is memorable. I already own the davincineers.com and davincineers.org domain names (website to come!) and have applied for a trademark for the name. I also have a facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Da-Vincineers/217771168241919 I hope you’ll go and like it to follow us as we get started. I will be posting when we take steps forward in the implementation of the program there and on our blog http://davincineers.wordpress.com . We’re also on twitter (linked to the blog): http://twitter.com/#!/davincineers .

We have to make sure the home we purchase can legally do what we need for the program and we’re fairly sure we want to have our own space to teach from. This allows for us to leave the projects from one day to the next, in a workshop environment, without having to remove all of the materials to share the space with other users (if you scrapbook, think about how it takes to put everything away and get it back out again and you’ll catch my meaning). It allows us to run the schedule we want and also saves us time away from our family by having to go to another destination. Plus our family can easily be woven into the program if it is out of our home (Triple garage? Shop? Basement to convert?). We’re not against other options, but cost would be a BIG factor considering this program isn’t designed to make money, but cover operational costs. If you think you might know of a church or business that would be willing to donate space for us to use though, that could be an excellent option.

We’re also looking for a high quality used 15 passenger van to be able to transport students from school to the program to home since many of the kids we hope to work with will not be able to attend without transportation. I have some promising leads, but we’re looking for a good deal. Gotta make this dough go as far as it can after taxes, baby! Chester is going to put his artistic abilities to good use and transform the can into the “Vinci Van.”

Also, I am hoping to apply for grants to help us develop the program as well and I am not well versed in that area, so if you have any specific advice for me, I’d welcome a message at our Da Vincineers email: davincineers@gmail.com . We’re hoping to provide the initial seed money to convert the space/develop the program and involve grants and fundraising to make the program continue to run in a self-sustaining fashion. We will need help with doing this effectively!

We also have fundraising for bringing Mary, the older orphan that has been waiting for a family for 3.5 years, home to her family that has the heart to make her family, but not the funds. If you’re interested in helping with the silent auction/yard sale I plan to do to bring in funds, in addition to the money we plan to donate, please send me a message. Our family has prayed for her every day for 3 years and it is time for this sweet girl to have a forever home. Adoption is expensive and we are hoping that between our donation and the fundraising we plan to do that we can get her home as soon as possible. We have to fund the homestudy first and then the other will follow. If anyone has frequent flyer miles they might be willing to donate for travel that would be amazing! Thanks for the suggestion on that Heather!

I hope everyone will understand that this will be a very busy time for us and moving forward on these projects will also take some time to get it all organized and planned. I will do my best to move quickly, but I also have to finish out the school year (assessment and report card time!), complete my masters class, work full time and be a mom to 5 while juggling the media and contacts from many, many people. If you don’t hear from me right away, please know I’ll get to it and I appreciate the love and support! Thank you again!!!

I know I shouldn’t have to say this, and I hope nobody will be insulted by me being so upfront about this, but we’ve already been approached for money by a few people. After taxes on the money and taxes on all of the prizes we’ve won we will be able to buy a nice home, pay off our student loans and invest in our children’s education while giving back by putting the Da Vincineers into action in the community and funding projects for older child and sibling group adoptions and family preservation projects, we will not be able to fund anything else. I am sorry to say that, but we’ve already had to change our phone number to a private one, as it proved necessary. I love you and thank you for everything, once again! You all are AMAZING!!!

New blog for Da Vincineers!

2011-05-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

Tuesday is fast approaching, which will be when the announcement of the winner of Macy's Million Dollar Makeover will be at about 9:00am Pacific time. If I win, I plan to start rolling on several projects immediately- getting a home for my family that I can, hopefully, use to launch the Da Vincineers, my after-school program for at-risk youth (and other passionate kids!), based on the life-studies of Leonardo Da Vinci, that infuses math, science and literacy in inspirational, project-based learning. If I don't win, rather than being a super-charged Renaissance, I'll still be working on it more slowly. So either way, I have launched a new Da Vincineers blog that will keep you posted on our progress! We're also open to other spaces in the Wenatchee area for the program (maybe church space, office area, other???), but since this is a not-for-profit program it would need to be donated or very affordable as we have to make it self-sustaining.

I also have plans to fundraise for older child and sibling group adoption and family preservation projects, win or lose. The attention and support that I have right now is not to be wasted, no matter what the result! People are excited and are listening, so it is time to make some things happen! Here's hoping YOU might want to get involved in my first priority, which is to help Mary come home (anybody have frequent flyer miles to donate? Items for a silent auction? Local and want to help me organize and/or operate the yard sale and silent auction thank you event?). Click on her name to read more about this wonderful girl that our family has prayed for daily for 3 years now!

Waiting for Forever

2011-05-13T15:40:00.000-07:00

Waiting for forever families! Maybe you're it?!

Please visit our adoption coordinator's blog about 10 precious kiddos waiting for families. That is a lot of kids and that means that a lot of families are needed! I hope you'll go over and visit Anita's, from AAI, blog and see these gorgeous little faces!

Ellen and Elizabeth's B-day!

2011-05-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

Our beautiful daughters, full of spirit, love, dedication, and spunk turned 10 today. I can't tell you how much they have blessed us in the nearly 3 years we've been family. They amaze me and humble me with their strength and hard-work, coupled with the most sincere, generous hearts. We love you Ellen and Elizabeth and are so lucky to be your family!

All done!

2011-05-11T19:45:00.000-07:00

So, I'm note really sure who is reading this blog anymore. I know the Facebook love has been highly fueled and passionate stuff with the Macy's business, but here it has been quiet. No matter... If you did help by voting or spreading the word, thank you so very much! Our family is so grateful!!! It is a relief to have this chapter done (the promoting myself- begging for votes, spreading the word, begging for word spreading, contacting media, yada, yada, yada). It is now done and decided. And whatever happens, I am ALL GOOD.

I've always been one of those people that secretly hoped I'd have the chance to have a Tuesday's with Morrie "funeral before I'm gone" experiences. Is that weird? What can I say? I'm a sap. I tell people how I feel and I love it when they do the same. The comments, messages and words of support that I have received about me, and my beautiful family, have blown any hope for love expression my emotional little heart could have hoped for out of the water. Honestly, I've had enough to last me a lifetime. Never again will I have one of those times where I feel sorry for myself and think that nobody loves me/nobody cares. How could I? I've literally gotten hundreds and hundreds of words of support that will lift me again and again. People recognizing the way that we've chosen to live our lives matters in this world... That giving to children matters. Nurturing them matters. Loving them matters. Being willing to take big chances on kids matters. That is simply brilliant.

Will we win? I don't know. I feel like we have a good chance, but if we don't, the love, the experiences Macy's has given us already (they've been AMAZING- so encouraging and generous... if you saw the hotel, not to mention the clothes and makeover joy) are enough. They really are. But I DO hope we win and if it is God's plan, we will. If it isn't, we will still walk away with an adventure that most people wouldn't have dreamed to have had. What a season in this wild life of mine! Thank you, again, for helping to make this dream possible!

FOR THE WIN! YOU are needed!

2011-05-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

*** Update! Voting below the NEW video is WAY faster! Go to this link to vote faster! http://www.facebook.com/Macys?sk=app_127966423934872 Please spread the word! Thanks! ***

If you read my blog, I am asking for a huge favor. Please vote for my family for Macy’s Million Dollar Makeover because we are in the FINALS for the WIN! This is AMAZING! We also NEED help spreading the word AND THE VOTING WINDOW IS ONLY 2 DAYS LONG!!! If you have a blog, our family would very much appreciate a post to help let others know. If you have a group you are a member of, a Facebook page, a twitter account or any other way to let people know, we would be so grateful for help in letting others know. We have a chance at a miracle here, a miracle you can be a part of!

http://apps.facebook.com/springmakeovervote/?ref=bookmarks&count=0

From NOW through Tuesday night at about 9:00pm Pacific Time you can vote as many times as you like! Every vote enters you for a chance at a $500 Macy’s gift card and you could make a miracle happen for us! Our family of 7, 3 a sibling group adopted from Ghana, needs a home (rather than the 1000 sq ft, 1 bath home we’ll be in soon) and I hope to start an after-school program for at-risk youth based on the life studies of Leonardo Da Vinci. There is a GREAT video showing a test run of the program on the Macy’s site too, if you’re interested. I also plan to do fund raising work for older children, sibling groups, and family preservation projects, though Macy’s has focused less on those goals and more on the after-school program in the footage.

If I could make this happen on my own, I would, but I can’t. Our family needs YOU. Please help, if you can. Your votes, and the votes of those you know, might be the difference between a great after-school program coming into existence to help kids learn in meaningful ways plus a family of 7 getting a forever home or… not. Will you help?

One of our biggest tomorrows!

2011-05-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow you might have the chance to spend a few minutes of your time changing my family's life! Really. It won't cost you anything, besides a few minutes, but YOU could help us have a home (instead of the 1000 sq ft, 1 bath house we'll be moving into at the end of the summer) for our family of 7. You could help me start an after-school program for at-risk kids based on the life-studies of Leonardo Da Vinci (building inventions, oil painting, cartography-using math and science in exciting, inspirational ways). You could help me develop fund raising efforts to help older orphans, sibling adoption, and family preservation projects (Macy's hasn't featured these ideas, but I've shared them and they are on my heart).

All you have to do is click a button, IF we get the good word tomorrow. :)

And every click gets you an entry to win a $500 Macy's gift card.

If you wanted to really be amazingly helpful, you could spread the word to the people you know and ask them to push the button for us too.

http://apps.facebook.com/springmakeovervote/?ref=bookmarks&count=0 at about 9:30pm Sunday night, Pacific time, it will be announced and voting will start then and only be for 2 DAYS! That means we need to go, go, go if we get the good word. Tuesday night at 9:00pm Pacific time, it will all be decided and done. I hope you'll help. If I could get you a home for your family with a few clicks of a button with a 50% chance at winning it, you bet I'd do it for you! And maybe, spread the word? Our family appreciates anything you can do to help this happen. We can't do it all on our own. We need YOU!

Bizarro World

2011-05-05T20:39:00.001-07:00

My name is Amy and I am living the most bizarre, wonderful, nutty, exciting adventure currently. It is hard to explain what this contest experience has been like or how it all feels because, truly, what can I compare it to? It is so far out of normal that my own puddin' head hasn't even begun to process it all. The magnitude of the life change that could be just around the corner is bogglingly surreal. In fact, every time I try to really conceive of it, I just tell myself to stop. It is simply TOO MUCH. If we win it, I don't want to have expectations (or not too many) because this is a ride that Macy's is directing and will go how they picture it, not me. This is their baby and I would just be the insanely lucky recipient of the greatest marketing campaign ever imagined (though I may be a bit partial)! ;)

There has been a lot of beauty- support, encouragement, recognition of value of the Da Vinci project and our family, trip to NYC, makeover with Clinton Kelly, great experiences with the crews that have visited us (the Macy's people and production crew have been SO wonderful to us!)... Lots of attention. Kind of strange, but so far it has all been positive, but still odd to have so many eyes on us.

How this all feels is another matter- waves of joy, fear, possibility, self-belief, self-doubt, hunger, logic, passion, resolve, prayer, guilt, hope, anxiety, want, numbness, gratitude, peace and bubbling, spitting anxiousness! That about sums it up. There are just a few days left until the final 2 are announced publicly and voting will begin then too, but this time it is for the win. I hope this happens. Sure, I'll be ok if it doesn't, but wow, if it does! If it DOES! Wow. Just wow! I'd be interested in knowing what THOSE waves of emotions feel like. :)

Newspaper Article about Our Adoption!

2011-04-29T16:00:00.001-07:00

Our local newspaper has covered the contest with 2 regular articles and one brief update that I made the next round, but the article that came out today actually covered our adoption. It had to be scaled way back, so it doesn't show the whole story, but it does a good job of painting a picture. I like that it doesn't focus only on the great stuff, but also shows the challenges. It also speaks highly our our agency, Adoption Advocates International, for the reasons we chose them after our research. It wasn't a decision made lightly and the selection of our agency is why we ended up with a sibling group!

I hope you'll take the time to read it and then I hope you'll pop over to http://apps.facebook.com/springmakeovervote/?ref=bookmarks&count=0 and vote as many times as you can!

http://www.wenatcheeworld.com/news/2011/apr/29/from-feeling-to-family-when-chester-and-amy/

Please VOTE NOW!!!

2011-04-24T21:07:00.001-07:00

NOW is the time to VOTE FOR AMY to make it to the FINAL 2 in Macy’s Million Dollar Makeover! http://tinyurl.com/3f7q5km Kinder teacher, mother to 5 (3 are older siblings adopted from Ghana), lost 60 lbs. See her after-school enrichment project for at-risk youth in her video this week! Voting is unlimited & every vote= a chance at a $500 Macy’s gift card. Please spread the word! Finger votes ONLY (no voting bots)!

***Also, please make “Go Amy” comments (anything pro our family- it makes a difference!) from time to time on Macy’s main page http://www.facebook.com/Macys when they ask who should win AND on the Macy’s Million Dollar Page http://tinyurl.com/3f7q5km by hitting the comment button on the bottom of the page. ***

If you can think of any groups you are members of or walls that you might be able to post this about, please do so! The more people that know, the better the chances we’ve got!

Easter

2011-04-23T20:43:00.000-07:00

I am looking forward to remembering, with gratitude, the sacrifice Jesus made for all of us. Easter is a beautiful day to honor the huge gift He gave us- salvation and forgiveness for the imperfect people we all are. His message of love and acceptance is perfect. Thank you, Jesus, for showing us the way and forgiving us when we fail to live up to your perfect love.

Tadpole Killer

2011-04-22T15:46:00.001-07:00

Apparently my sub that filled in for me during my writing training believes that the tadpoles we got yesterday for our classroom are all dead. The tadpoles we've been prepping for and studying about for 2 weeks. The ones that the kids have been thrilled about getting all week long. A parent in my classroom later confirmed that they appeared to be "sleeping," which is what she told the kids. Great. Science on Monday is going to be such a joy. :(

Oh yeah, I also have a curling iron burn on my neck that looks like a hickey.

Impressive, aren't I?

Off

2011-04-20T20:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sort of off today. It wasn't a great day at school and ended with a major poop accident in the last 5 minutes (not my poop, so that's something), but it created a lot of drama with trying to take care of that and get the rest of my class ready for the end of the day. I got a little help, thank goodness, but it was still stressful...

Then my masters class was long, with painful content, topped with a little disagreement where I felt slighted. I'm too sensitive. Those kinds of things don't roll off of me.

Then there is an ongoing drama with one of my kids and schoolwork that I just cannot seem to make right, no matter what I try. I feel frustrated and at a loss for what to do. It really is not in my control. My child has to fix this, but won't. We've tried organizational tools, checking in daily, contacting teachers and consequences don't seem to matter, even if they're ones that I thought would matter.

And then there is the feeling that I am just on a different planet from everyone else right now. I feel kind of lonely, even though I'm surrounded by lots of people. That probably sounds strange, but it just is how I feel.

Guess it is just an off day... They happen.

Vote for Amy Finger Workout Video!

2011-04-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Want to get your voting finger pumped up for the voting week that begins April 25th for Macy's Million Dollar Makeover? Try our finger workout designed just for "Team Amy" finger-letes!

Adoption Advocates International News: AAI mom Amy Ferrell in line for a Macy's Makeover-...

2011-04-17T15:34:00.000-07:00

Check out this article AAI posted on their blog about the Macy's contest!!! I am so thankful! This will be won by grass roots word-spreading with lots of votes from those that care and I am beyond thankful to our agency for getting it out there! Feel free to do the same if you are so moved.

If you want to wait until it is closer to time, we'll be up to vote on starting April 25th for a week! Voting will be unlimited and every vote enters you for a chance to win a $500 Macy's gift card. :) And I've notified them that I am not standing with Clinton Kelly, but instead the producer from the shoot, so I'm sure that will be corrected soon. MUCH LOVE!

Adoption Advocates International News: AAI mom Amy Ferrell in line for a Macy's Makeover-...: " Amy Ferrell and family in front of their house One of our own--Amy Ferrell, mom to three children from our Ghana program and 2 more, i..."

We did it! FINAL 4!!!

2011-04-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

So, we got the good word that I did move on in the Macy's Million Dollar Makeover!!! I am beyond thrilled to be in the FINAL 4!

Thanks so much to those of you that supported us by spreading the word and voting. If you didn't get on board with that, please consider yourself invited!!! The next round of votes (with a new video I am SO excited about) will go head to head soon. 2 will go head to head on April 18th and the last 2 will go head to head for votes on April 25th. I will let you know when I can. I suspect I'll be in the latter group, BUT I am just guessing!

If you want to see the official announcement (you can click on me, Amy, to see my intro video and my makeover in New York City with Clinton Kelly- thanks Macy's!!!), please click here: http://apps.facebook.com/springmakeovervote/?ref=bookmarks&count=0

Also, it does ask you to "allow the application," but Macy's does NOT share your info. They are simply following Facebook rules for running a sweepstakes. Fear not! I am the only adoptive mom, the only teacher and the only person not on the East Coast (not that the last part matters at all- LOVE the East Coast, but I find it interesting). We could sure use your support!

Waiting Patiently

2011-04-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

It is so funny, this waiting to find out if I made it to the final 4 business for the Macy's Million Dollar Makeover contest...

Lots of people are wondering how I'm doing with it, if I am sleeping, if I am driving myself nuts with worry. The thing is, I'm really doing fine. Sure, I'd love to know, but the fact is that I don't and I won't. Not until it is time. And I'm cool with that. Do you know why?

Well, first of all, I really do try to learn from life and if the adoption process taught me nothing that would be sad. I learned the biggest lesson, which was to trust God! Whatever is supposed to happen will happen. I also learned to let go of what I can't control. I cannot worry my way to a victory in this contest. I did what I could to get the word out as many places as possible (did radio, newspaper, talked at Rotary clubs, created voting events online and more) and SO many people voted for us again and again and spread the word for us. I heard lots of words of support and encouragement from family, friends, acquaintances, and total strangers... People who recognize that our love of children and dedication to them in our lives really matters! That's beauty right there!

That's the other thing... if this ends, I still have been blessed with so much. No, our housing situation won't be fixed (but who knows if there are other connections made through this that will lead to unpredicted solution? It is possible!) and no, I won't be able to implement my after-school ideas without a funding source at this time, but still... I got to go to NYC with my mom, thanks to Macy's. I got a makeover form Clinton Kelly including 2 outfits, I got to go to a Broadway show, and again, the words of recognition that a life spent dedicated to kids really matters. Those are beautiful things.

Don't get me wrong though! I want to WIN this round and WIN this thing! I would be thrilled!!! And my heart is wishing with all its might that God thinks that is the best plan for our family!!! My fingers, toes, and eyelashes are crossed for good news, but I am not driving myself crazy with worry about it. That just doesn't do any good for anyone. It certainly isn't going to change the outcome! And right now? Well, dreams are alive. Monday they could be over. I need to enjoy possibilities today. :)

Family Fun! "Chopped" at home!

2011-04-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

Our kids thoroughly enjoy watching "Chopped" on TV and we were talking about how fun it would be to do it ourselves at home. Today we finally did it and it was a BLAST! So what's the deal?

The kids were each given a mystery basket (or grocery bags, if you lack imagination) with ingredients Chester and I selected for them, as featured in the video. I was really hoping to throw in a pomelo, but they were fresh out at the store, so we went with a pear apple. Not quite as exotic, but still, not expected. :) They then had 25 minutes to concoct the most delicious dessert they could put together using those ingredients, plus others from our kitchen. They were assisted by their younger brothers (sous chefs) and then the sous chefs and the parents were the judges. We had to taste them all and vote for a winner. We had a 3 way tie until the last vote was cast... Luke was decided upon to reign as the "Chopped Champion." They all were creative, had a great time, and some of the components were pretty tasty! :)

I was delighted that everyone was a good sport and had a great time while supporting each other! They're ready to go again, but this time they want to do dinner. Sort of scary, but hey, dessert didn't kill us, so I'm sure we'll survive dinner too. I'll just make sure to include "safe" ingredients!

Grateful and Hopeful!

2011-04-03T22:05:00.000-07:00

So, for the first time in a week I don't have a vote button to press! :) Will I miss it? Uh.... no, but I sure hope I get to do it again!!! :)

I have been so completely overwhelmed with the amazing support our family has received through this process so far. I could not have hoped for anything more. Voting again and again, spreading the word, blog posts, and comments showing support on the Macy's Million Dollar Makeover page. Wonderfully inspiring and so humbling.

I have a very good feeling about it, but even if my feeling ends up just being a reflection of the support we felt, then that is such a HUGE gift in itself! I can't explain it. I can't express it because there just ins't anything that compares that I've experienced. So many people seeing your good and thinking you're "worthy," and valuing how you've chosen to live your life? A life where we took a chance on loving 3 older siblings that had lived a challenging life (not always easy, especially the first year, but MORE than worth it- they are amazing individuals), a life where both parents have chosen education as their profession, knowing that the rewards are a modest income, but the satisfaction of doing a job with a huge social value? Yes, that feels amazing. People having faith that if we are blessed with this win that we WILL bless others... I am so thankful for it all. I can't wait!!! Children in my community (specifically at-risk kids involved in enrichment activities based on the studies of Leonardo Da Vinci) and older children/sibling group adoption and family preservation projects are all the dreams I have percolating!

I'm not sure we'll be the big winners, but truly, Macy's has given us a beautiful experience already with some trappings that show, like a new haircut and clothes picked out by a celebrity (wow!), but the best ones you see in reposts, comments and words of support by those that you know and love you OR know of you and decide to love you. How brilliantly amazing.

Everyone will know April 11th who the final 4 will be. I plan to be there. I hope to be there. I am faithful I will be, but if I'm not, I still have won more through this experience than I ever dreamed.

Last few hours!

2011-04-03T07:25:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

I hate to beg for more, but this is it! At 9:00pm tonight, Pacific time, the voting window will be closed. Our family needs your help to move onto the final 4. http://apps.facebook.com/springmakeovervote/?contestant=amy-ferrell&cm_mmc=FrPS-_-fb-_-n-_-n

What this COULD mean for us to win would likely be a new home, plus I'll have the chance to make some big dream come true- like funding an after-school program based on the life studies of Leonardo Da Vinci for at-risk kids. Kids that might have a variety of challenges... Maybe socio-economic, maybe social issues, maybe disinterest in the standard curriculum, or maybe a home situation that makes things complicated. I also want to include kids that show a true passion for art or inventing. Another goal I've talked about a lot has been to help provide funding for older child and sibling group adoption, as well as family preservation. I know they've been listening and I am excited to find out how they'll help this happen!

I hope you'll take a minute to vote for me, Amy Ferrell, so that our family can have a chance at a miracle. Each vote enters you for a chance at a $500 Macy's gift card too (so since you're there, why don't you stay and click a while?). A new home for a family of 7 (rather than moving into our 1000 sq ft, 1 bath house), a chance at starting some cool programs to help others? Those are good, good things for a Kindergarten teacher, mother to 5, and a gal that's lost 60 pounds the hard way this last year and a half to wish for! I hope you'll help. We need you! http://apps.facebook.com/springmakeovervote/?contestant=amy-ferrell&cm_mmc=FrPS-_-fb-_-n-_-n

VOTE NOW PLEASE!!!

2011-03-27T21:19:00.001-07:00

It is TIME!!! VOTE FOR AMY NOW! The makeover is up!!! Click “See her makeover” under my picture after clicking this link. The vote button is on that next screen! Please do NOT be turned off by allowing the application. Macy’s will NOT share your information- they just have to do that to follow Facebook rules. http://apps.facebook.com/springmakeovervote/?ref=bookmarks&count=0

Voting is UNLIMITED from now through April 3^rd and you do NOT need to watch the video each time (vote now, Amy, close, repeat!). PLEASE spread the word and vote, vote, vote. Every vote enters you for a $500 Macy’s gift card.

The quick details on why I hope you’ll vote for me:

1. Mom to 5, 3 of whom are an older sibling group we adopted from Ghana

2. Kindergarten teacher that gives her all to inspiring her students, husband is also a teacher

3. Lost 60 pounds over the past year

4. Needs this life makeover to provide a home for her family. Without a miracle we’ll be moving back into our 1000 sq. ft. 1 bath home with no play area for the kids due to challenges from the economy.

5. I plan to start after-school enrichment activities based on the life studies of Leonardo Da Vinci for at-risk and interested youth.

6. I plan to work to raise money for older child and sibling group adoptions, as well as for family preservation whenever possible

PLEASE vote as often and you can and spread the word. We need all the help we can get and this is a real chance at a miracle!!! If you wish to report this, or post something on your own, that would be wonderful! Feel free to change or alter this post to meet your needs!!! BTW, voting for Amy Ferrell is the new hot workout! Buff fingers are fetching!

Nervous...

2011-03-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how I can explain how I feel right now, being about 13 hours from "go" time, except maybe nervous and tired!

I have been going non-stop for weeks, trying to do all I can to get the word out, thank those that are helping, trying to get media attention, consider and respond to every suggestion from those that want to help, working with media, going to Rotary meetings, writing up presentations for people willing to share at important meetings they are attending, getting started on arrangements for the next round IF I make it to the next round, making up work hours I owe from being gone, plus trying to just live our regular life which is exceptionally busy with working full-time as a teacher (and there are some serious school things going on right now too, tough stuff), report cards, being a mama to 5 (and we're dealing with a bullying issue to boot which is culminating in a major change), keeping food in the house and more. I'm TIRED and the voting hasn't even started! This upcoming week is full with Macy's Meet and Greets, writing pilot meetings, masters meetings and more. I've got to keep going and I've also got to squeeze in as many votes as I can. Couldn't we just put everything on hold for a bit?!

I am very excited, don't get me wrong! I am very grateful, don't get me wrong! I am doing this because we need a home and we have opportunities to do some very exciting stuff- including after school enrichment programs for at-risk youth and fundraising for older child and sibling adoption, as well as family preservation. I am beyond blessed to have this chance and I hope, hope, hope you'll help us. I can't do this all by myself. I would if I could!!! Once the makeover is up to vote on we'll need your votes and we'll appreciate any word spreading you can do on our behalf. In the meantime, have a nap for me, will ya? :)

MARY!!!

2011-03-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

If you've followed my blog for any length of time, you've probably heard me mention Mary. I met her when I traveled to Ghana to bring home my own children. She was an older orphan who watched, time and time again, other kids get their families while she waited. Nobody came for her. She would show genuine happiness for the other kids, but there were many tears for her own situation. She wanted her family.

Every day for 2.5 years we've prayed that Mary would find a family. There was a family that wanted to adopt her- that saw her beautiful heart and wanted to step up for her, but at the time they were "too big" by Ghanaian standards. Money was also a huge issue. We did a raffle of Chester's artwork to raise some money for whoever might come forward. And we prayed...

Ghanaian standards for family size have changed and this family is now moving forward to adopt her!!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOO thrilled!!!! But, finances are still an issue. I have promised our coordinator that once things calm down a bit for us that we'd be happy to do what we can to help raise funds for this family. I am hoping that this blessing that is happening to us could also help to bless them. Whether directly, or indirectly, we are very, very hopeful that we will at least have a platform to DO something real for them. Our raffle raised a little, but I believe we could raise a lot. When someone steps out in faith for something so good, it just HAS to work out!

So, I hope you'll add Mary and her new family to your prayers. I hope you'll think about what can be done and how. Maybe you'll have a brilliant idea you can share with me. One thing this contest has done has shown me how many smart, resourceful people are out there! Mary deserves to come home as soon as she can and her family deserves to be able to make it happen. Think and pray for Mary!!!

Overwhelmed

2011-03-22T20:42:00.001-07:00

I can honestly say that I do not know HOW a person can be as blessed as we have been lately. This Macy's deal is something else! First, there is the contest in itself. HUGE opportunity. Great perks just being a final 8: Trip to NYC for my mom and lil' ol' me, 2 new outfits, nice hotel, new hair, Broadway show, being designed by Clinton Kelly. That, just THAT, is all fabulous and "too much."

The part of this that moves me to my core is the support though. So many people are getting behind us, spreading the word, reaching out. It is mind-blowing! It is beautiful! I don't know how a person can be so blessed to feel this level of love, and I don't know what will come of it, but I feel that it will raise me towards doing much, much more for the causes that are important to me. Children. Their education (ask me about my Da Vinci ideas please!)... a family for those that don't have one... support for those that want to STAY a family and lack of resources is what will tear them apart... siblings staying together if they don't have parents. I feel this so deeply. And maybe, maybe, maybe I'll be ready to start working in the area of domestic violence as well.

I was asked what I fear recently. I've been asked about LOTS of things lately. I talked about being afraid to get deeply involved in domestic violence issues because it is so, well, personal. I've talked about my past with the contest people (even in my video I submitted) and it doesn't seem to be part of what they want to "package" me as, but I am still thinking it could go there too. And it would be good for me to go there. I've grown through so much with my own personal journey. Am I ready? I don't know. I always thought I'd "go there" when my kids were grown. We'll see.

Whatever does happen though, I do feel that this is more than just about a home for my family (though I am ever hopeful!). I feel like this is God telling me that I can do much, much more. Am I going to have connections because of this that make it so I can make some of my hopes and dreams for helping kids more of a reality? Even if I don't win, I think I might be able to find a way to make this stuff happen. God wants me to, I think. People are on board. People are listening. They are supporting us. Maybe that energy can be translated into some really wonderful directions that matter. Really matter.

Also, this is back to personal blessings we've gotten, but it is insane! Have you ever heard how celebrities have money and yet they never have to buy anything because people want to give them things? Well, it is on a much smaller scale, but we're getting some of that too! The money from co-workers for NYC was huge and another card with some cash too, people buying an extra book for one of my kids so each can have their own (which our kids are super used to sharing, but still, it was nice for them for once), folks using their connections to network with LOTS of people rather than just a few, an anonymous $50 gift card to Safeway (hello! At the end of the month, every month, we're always super tight budget wise, so that is a huge blessing). People offering to do scrapbook pages of our NYC trips, landscaping for our house we own if we need to move back in. Just listing it makes me overwhelmed and want to cry.

I don't get it, really I don't. I'm thankful, but I feel strange about it too. I do NOT deserve this. I am fortunate. I've said all along through this process that if I deserve this I know 50-60 other women who do too. I'm just the lucky one this time. Just really, really lucky. But I promise, that I will try to take this amazing good coming my way and keep it rolling towards what truly IS good. For me, it is children. If I can channel this towards them, I can feel really good about this. Oh, I'll still enjoy this ride and it's trappings, savoring every moment, but I want to bless like I've been blessed.

Makeover Weekend!

2011-03-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

Wow! What an amazing, whirlwind adventure makeover weekend was! My mom and I left Wenatchee Friday night and stayed at the Super 8, which, though adequate, was nothing like The Empire Hotel Macy's put us up at in NYC! Talk about AWESOME! Saturday we flew out very early and arrived in New York to find a driver and Macy's rep waiting for us with my name on a sign! I am kicking myself that I didn't snag that sign before the driver threw it away. Oh well, I guess the memory will have to last me. :)

Macy's started us off marvelously, with a per diem and a flip camera to video our adventures! So cool! We got to the hotel and settled in (me dreaming of my shower so I could put on the lush robe afterwards- what a FAB place to stay!) and we headed out for a lovely Italian meal. Then it was time for showers and bed.

The next day we got picked up pretty early with the gal I'm completing against and her companion. We took turns getting taped getting in and out of the limo and going in and out of the Macy's doors at Herald Square before they opened to the public. It was a lot of fun and the crew was wonderful. The folks from Macy's were all really sweet and helpful too. :) The first shot here is of the inside of the beautiful Macy's store.

Here is me with the flip camera (and YES, they let me keep it- I gave it to my oldest, Luke, since he wants to be a camera man since the crew came to see us in Wenatchee. He was SOOOO excited!). I am giddy and dorky as always!

Fancy!

After we did the morning shoot, we went back to our hotel for lunch after doing some shopping at Macy's. I got the girls each an outfit and the little guys Macy's New York shirts with the money that my co-workers pitched in to give me (they are SO awesome!). :) Then the crew came to my hotel room and did some more filming, having me answer lots of questions. Not sure how they'll be using the footage. Seems like, maybe, if I make it to the next round (God willing!) they might use it then since most of the makeover videos don't seem to have a lot of those types of things in them. We'll see! :)

Once the in-room interview was done, it was time to go to the Theater District and spend a couple of hours there before the Macy's dinner and Billy Elliot show that Macy's was treating us to! SOOOOO lucky! Thanks Macy's! We did our souvenir shopping and had an hour left until dinner. Got the little boys police and firefighter bears and vehicles. Chester got a Yankee's hat.

Since we had an hour and some money from Macy's, we did something we'd probably never do- we went to Ripley's Believe it of Not Museum. It was a lot of fun! Here I am next to the World's Tallest Man.

Isn't my mom cute? Love her- we had so much together!!! Brought back lots of memories from the trip we took together to NYC after I graduated high school.

After our dinner, with a wonderful dessert, I might add, we went to Billy Elliot. It was wonderful. The 11 year old boy that played the title role has more talent in his pinky toe than most people have in their whole bodies. He was incredible!

After the show, we took a rickshaw back to the hotel. We neglected to notice the "Per person" price and spent WAY more that we thought, but once again, Macy's paid and it was a wonderful memory. The guy was awesome and clearly, quite fit. We felt bad it was all uphill! Check out this awesome shot of Times Square!

Doesn't he look SO tired?

Here is me before the makeover, waiting to be picked up on Monday morning. I was feeling pretty nervous, but also super excited!

I will tell you that it was an incredible time. I am not going to say TOO much because this all belongs to Macy's and I don't want to spoil anything. :) The day started with a pick up a little after 8 am and we didn't finish with everything until well after 10pm. The result was more than I ever expected and I cannot wait until MARCH 28th when the video is revealed! Remember from March 28th- April 3rd you can vote for me at Macy's Facebook Million Dollar Makeover Page. Please don't be put off by sharing your information because they don't use it for anything. Sweepstakes rules on Facebook require it. Also, you could win a $500 Macy's gift card for entering. You can vote for me as many times as you want during that week and I can use all the help I can get. Please, please tell you friends to vote too and ask them to ask their friends to do the same and pass it on! :)

And lastly, here is a shot of Clinton Kelly (a witty, charming, commanding, kind, detail-oriented man that is just as he seems) that happened to be singing a ditty he made up to the tune of "Oklahoma" which I promised him I would NOT post. Pity... the man has a fabulous voice! He was truly wonderful to meet! Thanks Macy's and Clinton and the rest of the talented cast and crew that worked with me. You all made me feel like I never dreamed I could! Bring on MARCH 28th!!!!

If it all ended tomorrow...

2011-03-09T19:05:00.000-08:00

Sounds fatalistic, I know. "If it all ended tomorrow..." It sure could, for any of us, at any time. So in case it does all end tomorrow, I'd like to say a few things, for the record.

1. I am grateful for my husband. I am married to a man that saw my heart, even as a wounded person, only hobbling along, with moments of boundless skipping, at age 19, when he met me. Only out of an abusive situation for 5 years at the time, I was not healed. 5 years out after spending my first 15 in an awful situation. Just starting to put myself into a whole. He has been my supporter- believed in me and encouraged me in so many ways while giving of himself endlessly, selflessly and all for the betterment of our family. He is one in a billion and God helped him find me and me find him. My husband treasures me. How wonderful is all that?

2. I am grateful for my kids. Each one of them is a blessing to the world, with unique gifts, with deep hearts and compassion. They make me laugh and cry with their beauty and honesty. They have taught me what it truly means to overcome and thrive. I am inspired by my children. God has given me a chance to guide them and help them grow. God has given me a chance to undo the cycle of abuse by raising my kids in a healthy, nurturing environment. I am strong enough to challenge them and sturdy enough to offer the consistency they need. That is a gift.

3. I am grateful for amazing friends. There have been key people that have been there at key times in life that I will never forget and will always feel so fortunate to know. Jenny helped me survive my childhood. I've told her what a light she was, but I don't think she'll even know. Candida has been, and is, the greatest friend for me in so many ways. Her humor, her depth, her knowledge of things that only we can understand in each other has been one of the greatest gifts God has given me. The beautiful part is that I know she feels the same about me. We have needed each other in such profound ways and neither of us has failed the other. Anita, my coordinator, who I spent time with in Ghana and will always love... She was so good to me while I was in process and gives so completely of herself to children and families. I admire her and her work. I am so glad for our time together. And Heather, my friend I "met" through adoption, even though I have never seen her face in person and have only heard her voice once, she has made me laugh so much, has touched my heart and inspired me. She has always been open and beautiful in her honesty. And she's been there when I've needed someone, especially during rough patches in our first year home with the 3 adopted kiddos. The adoption stuff is a challenge. There are many more I could mention, but these 4 have been on my heart a lot lately. If anything did happen, they would know these things already, but I want to say it again. :)

4. I am grateful for my Mom. Our relationship has been evolving over the past few years and I love the place we're in now. My mom is one of the bravest people I have ever known and she gave more than she had in more ways than anyone will ever know. She has overcome so much and has always dug deep to make sure my sister and I were ok. She's had to shoulder more than anyone should and be braver than anyone should. I am proud to be her daughter. She is my friend and supporter, even though sometimes I really make her mad when I do something other than what she would do. She's getting more comfortable with that and I am getting more comfortable with not always having to have her approval. Sure, I want it, but if it isn't there, that's ok. Good growth for me on that. My mom is an incredible person, so strong, so passionate, and so her. There is nobody in the world like my mom.

5. I am grateful for this Macy's contest. For obvious reasons, of course! The opportunity at a home for my family (and who knows what else!) is amazing, but the best part, the part I HAVE no matter what, is the love and support people have shown for us. I won't ever forget it. I have been blown away. From loving blog posts (Heather, my girl!) to comments made on my Macy's page (most of which disappeared one day! What a bummer!) to networking on our behalf (complete with loving, supportive comments that recognize our family as being a great one shared with all of their friends) to the card and NYC spending money my co-workers gave me for the trip (paid for the motel the night before AND I'll be able to buy souvenirs for the kids and Chester! SOOO awesome!), I have been completely overwhelmed. I am tearing up just writing this. I want to win, I really, really do, but God has blessed me so much already. Just this experience- the love, support, the encouragement... It is almost too much to process.

6. And you know what else I am grateful for? My experiences in life. I realize how much of who I am comes from where I have been and all of that negativity and pain produced something really good. Me. Just as I am. A woman with a heart for children- willing to take risks on loving and investing in them. A wife that appreciates a man that would never put his hand on me and is a rock for his family, even if he isn't Captain Excitement. A mom that loves and encourages. A teacher than will NOT let my students fall through the cracks. A smart alec, sassy, fiery woman with spunk and guts. An open woman, willing to be me, even if not everybody likes that person. I like who I am and though I have great moments of failure, I can forgive myself and move on from that toward improvement.

So God, if it all ends tomorrow, I am left with a life that is beautiful and full. I have been loved and am loved. I am blessed beyond anything I ever imagined. Thank you. Thank you for my husband, my children, my friends, my family, my mom... Thank you for my life.

In the Newspaper!

2011-03-08T16:24:00.000-08:00

Don't worry, I don't have an entourage yet! Well, unless you count my gaggle of kids... Hmmm, maybe I DO have one then. ;) Today an article came out in our local paper. It was on the second page- I am SO grateful! Hoping we can get our community behind us. We'd love to have YOUR support too! Any word-spreading is MUCH appreciated!!! :)

http://www.wenatcheeworld.com/news/2011/mar/08/teacher-in-the-running-for-macys-contest/

Also, I hope you'll pop over to Anita, our adoption coordinator's blog to see an awesome video on HIV positive adoptions! It is incredibly inspiring!

http://gillispiefam.blogspot.com/2011/03/woo-hoo-take-that-hiv-stigma.html

On the radio!

2011-03-07T16:07:00.000-08:00

This morning I had an interview on KOHO radio and I formed complete, somewhat coherent sentences! If you're interested in hearing the interview, here is the link:

http://www.kohoradio.com/?q=news%2Fwenatchee-school-teacher-among-macys-million-dollar-makeover-finalists

Adoption & Weight Loss

2011-03-06T15:25:00.000-08:00

So, since the news is out about my adventure with Macy's Million Dollar Makeover (pinch me! Still floored!), I've gotten more e-mails from strangers than normal. :) Most have been about adoption! Yea! Some wondering about older child adoption, some about sibling adoption. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have this great thing happening to me open up more discussion about the world of adoption to people that might not be connected to that world already? That would be awesome. To be able to talk about sibling groups, older children, support aid needed in other countries to keep families there together? Foster-to-adopt. Yes, that would be incredible! Just on the small scale I've seen it already, I am excited about the potential for the future!

Another question that has come up has been about how I lost weight- what tricks am I using? What am I cutting out? Ok, here is my truth... I will not do anything to lose this weight that I cannot maintain forever. That means I still eat everything "normal" people eat. I just do it in moderation. Yes, I have pizza. Yes, I eat candy (still my biggest weakness). I just eat mostly healthy things most of the time and keep the naughty stuff reasonable in quantity.

And I work out. I believe that losing weight, without building your strength, isn't likely to result in a truly fit body. Thin and flabby isn't my goal. Strong and healthy is and I don't think you can get that just by cutting calories. Our bodies are designed to perform. Make them and they will do amazing things! But, by all means, find things you enjoy doing (or that the results are worth the effort, if you don't love it). Again, this is all about lifestyle change.

Forever.

Not until the weight is gone. It'll be back otherwise.

Ghana’s 54th Independence Annivesary Message

2011-03-06T12:24:00.000-08:00

My beloved countrymen I greet you all in the spirit of our independence. I salute the memories of our fathers and mothers, who fought for our freedom and independence. I thank the NDC, NPP and CPP for allowing our young democratic freedom to change party leadership with maturity and care void of conflict and instability Therefore, we must rejoice irrespective of political affiliations and applaud ourselves for our current political and economic dispensation with fervent understanding that our 54th independence celebration is meaningless unless it is linked to AGRICULTURE INDEPENDENCE.

The basis of this year celebration must be a vow stipulating a total commitment to develop Ghana’s agriculture sector just like our colonial masters (UK), USA, Russia and China. These great superpowers attained their current stardom after effectively mastering cultivating their lands to feed their population. Ghana our beloved country must first seek agriculture independence, then every other economic dreams can be achieved and sustain. Akpe na mi kata.
Today our celebration must be an icon of hope embedded in love, respect, forgiveness and appreciation of individual, political, and culture strength and vulnerabilities.
Fellow countrymen we must buried our personal and political hatreds, condemnation, name calling and insults and embraced and nurture our differences with dignity and respect.

Fellow countrymen I end on this note that Ghana our beloved nation is like a typical African DAD with many wives (political parties and cultures) with many children (party members and citizens with no party affiliations) but what we have in common or bond us together is our beloved country Ghana. Therefore, the time has come we all want the best for our country Ghana and because we all belong to different mothers, we are competing for our mothers to have favorite position in the eyes of our Dad. These competing synergies are important but it must be a healthy one to produce a strong and powerful root to sustain our beloved country Ghana. Thank you. Mawu neyra Ghana kple mitaka.

YAO FIAGBETO,
PRESIDENT,
CONCERN CITIZEN DEMOCRATIC ALLIANCE FOR GHANA-CCDAG

Image from: http://nanakofiacquah.blogspot.com/2011/03/independence-day-celebration-in.html

One of the best things...

2011-03-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

... about this amazing thing happening to us, is the love that is pouring out from people that know us. My friend, and fellow adoptive mom, Heather, wrote the most beautiful, loving post about lil' ol' me. I will honestly treasure her words always. If you want to read what this wonderful lady had to say, you can groove on over here. I feel so blessed!

A Chance at a Miracle!!!

2011-02-28T16:00:00.000-08:00

*** Update- It looks like my week my makeover goes head to head will be at the end of March! I'll keep you posted!***

God never ceases to amaze me! We’ve had something remarkably HUGE happen to us and today is the first time I can talk about it! What a relief! It has been killing me to keep my mouth shut, being the open book I am.

Near the end of December I applied for Macy’s Million Dollar Makeover. I answered some questions and attached some pictures. I heard back from them saying they wanted to hear more and asking me to submit a video. I did that and answered more questions. Then, I heard from them again about this or that. I tried not to get too excited… not to have any real expectations because that was just insane to think that out of all of those people I might be one of the eight. Me? Come on!

But, then, it happened. They picked ME. ME! ME? ME! As a finalist I am going to NYC and getting a makeover from TLC’s What Not To Wear host, Clinton Kelly, and I have a chance to win a million dollar life makeover! WHA?! And what exactly that all entails, I truly don’t know, but I’d love to find out! ;) Here is the announcement from when they were casting, featuring Clinton Kelly himself! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhL0TEHx2YU

So what does this all mean?!

Well, I get the trip to NYC (and I get to take my mom with me) for a couple of days. Clinton will do his thang, which I am so excited about! I can hardly imagine! And then my makeover will go head to head with another makeover and whichever gets the most votes on our week will move on to the next round. Then the top 4 will be narrowed to 2 and then a winner will be picked. SOOOOO, we will seriously need everyone’s help on our week. The voting will be done through Macy’s Facebook page. I am going to be asking for your vote and for you to ask those that you know to vote and to ask your friends to ask those that they know to vote for us. That’s a lot of asking, but this is so enormously huge and we will need all the support we can get. I’m not saying that we’re the “most” deserving, but it would be a true miracle for our family.

If you want to see all of the contestants, including myself, you need to allow Macy's Million Dollar Makeover Application here. Also, this will be the only way to vote for me, so I hope you'll not be shy. :)

You may be wondering, “why Amy?” and though I don’t really know what did it and I still ask myself that ALL the time, I can tell you that I talked about being a mom to 5, adopting a sibling group of 3 when most people thought that was a little nuts, being a full-time kindergarten teacher, having lost 60 pounds over the last year and our housing situation, which, if you read this blog you already know about…

If not, here is house deal: We still own our around 1000 square foot home that a friend is renting from before our adoption. She planned to buy it, but can’t. We’ve lost all the equity we had in it and though we both got our National Board Certification as teachers to make up for that, the bonuses are being cut now. Huge blow for a 2-teacher family. We have no choice, if we ever want to have a home of our own, but to move into this house with 1000 sq. ft. and 1 bath (for 7 people and 5 active children without any place to play) for a few years to save up for the down payment. No equity. No bonus money. Rent for current place is too high to save. Math adds up to one thing.

So, that’s the story. If you can think of ways to get the word out for us to your people (moms, adoptive families, your work, yahoo groups, your schools, teacher friends, church friends, ANYBODY!), we’d be so appreciative. As soon as I am sure when my week is, I will let you know. Thanks for trying to help us! Plus, every time you vote, you get entered to win a $500 Macy’s card and they’ll be giving away 4 of those.

I still can’t believe this is happened to us, but I am so grateful for the opportunity and honored to be chosen as one of the 8. Incredible! My week for voting won't be for a while, but I will let you know!!!

Insanely, CRAZY, wonderfully AMAZING!

2011-02-28T06:39:00.000-08:00

If you want to see WHY I named this post THAT title go here:

http://apps.facebook.com/springmakeover/?contestant=amy-ferrell&ga=blog.facebook&cm_mmc=FrPS-_-fb-_-n-_-n

And YES, the AMY is ME!!!!! More details to come later after I talk to the PR people about what I can and can't say! :)

Best B-day Eva!

2011-02-27T15:06:00.000-08:00

So, I wasn't remotely excited for my birthday this year. I mean, really, what's to be excited about? Well, it sure was a whole lot better than I ever imagined. It was a GREAT day. I felt so special and loved.

It started with my beautiful, loving children giving me their gift. They'd wanted to give it to me for DAYS and I told them I really wanted to wait for my actual birthday. They hated it, but they waited! Earlier they had asked me what I wanted for my birthday lunch. We have a tradition of me making them whatever they want to eat for their birthdays. Last year they asked me what I was going to make for myself. ;) Well, February is always a challenge for us financially- our anniversary, Valentine's Day and my birthday (and car tabs!) always drain us. I told the kids we could be creative and try to put something together from what we have in the house. It would be fun!

Now, they know I love food and didn't buy that I didn't want a special lunch, so here's what they did... These loving kids called Grandma and asked her to take them to one of my favorite restaurants so they could pool their money to get me a gift card for a birthday lunch. This was money they'd saved for months (their allowance and gift money) and they knew it had to be a gift card because I wouldn't take their cash. They're right one that one- they tried to do that before. Sweet, sweet kiddos. So, because of their thoughtfulness we had a lovely birthday lunch out on them. :) So very thoughtful and frankly it was MUCH better than what we'd have been able to throw together. :)

The other highlight was this incredible scrap book my mother made for me. She took momentos and photos she'd saved, plus a ton from my grandmother's things, and put it all together to show my life from birth to age 18. It was filled with so many great memories and truly helped me see how much light there was, even in the darkness of my childhood. School plays, dances, girl scouts, pre-school photos. It is just lovely. I will treasure it always. I also heard from lots of friends and family.

On my birthday I felt remembered, valued, loved and very, very blessed. What a great day!

This picture

2011-02-26T09:00:00.001-08:00

Has been haunting me. It is the starved body of one of my children from a time in her life that no child should live through, though so many do. It is a reminder to not forget the other beautiful children that still live it. My heart hurts.

Sweet Kids!

2011-02-18T19:33:00.000-08:00

We are so blessed to parent such sweet, thoughtful kids. Made my night, that's for sure!

Tough Stuff

2011-02-18T06:51:00.000-08:00

One of the things that held me back from wanting to go into teaching was because of my own fear about how I would be able to absorb children's personal difficulties. Having come from an abusive background myself, I knew I would feel compelled to save and rescue. That fear is not unfounded. I have had a couple of times where something did need to be reported, but there are other times that there isn't any abuse, but just some really awful situations. There are situations that are just not what a child deserves to live through.

Yesterday was a very difficult day for me as a teacher. There is nothing I can do except be an ear, offer a hug, and try to offer hope sometimes. I can refer a child to the counselor to get some assistance with coping. I come home and think about them and then I have to try to release it. I can't fix these issues. I have to concentrate on what I can do. I can be a loving teacher that inspires kids to learn and to believe in themselves. I can offer consistency and safety. I can let them know that they can choose what they want to believe about themselves. I can tell them that I see beauty in them. That's what I can do. And I can pray for them.

Being a teacher is a wonderful job, but there are times when it is infinitely challenging for me. Yesterday was one of those days and let me tell you... it wasn't one incident. When it rains, it pours. Yesterday it was a flash flood. :(

Blessings

2011-02-08T21:26:00.000-08:00

There have been so many. There always are, when we look.

The little girl that has struggled with learning her letter names and sounds (and I mean struggled) mastered her capital names today and is only 3 lower case/sounds away from mastery... She jumped up and said "Teacher, I LOVE YOU!" and gave me a huge kiss on the cheek before I even knew what happened. I don't encourage kisses, but hug freely, as it isn't what we are supposed to do in public school, but that kiss was so pure and joyful. It made tears come to my eyes to see her pride in her accomplishment. We've really focused and put interventions in place in her day that have had results. She did the work, I just provided the opportunity and let her know what she needed to do to make it happen. And I believed in her. I have an amazing job!

My children, who make me nuts on some days, but most of the time fill me with such love. Every day with smiles, hugs, kind words, moments of hard work and sweet little appreciations they show that make my life full and meaningful.

My husband, my rock, my soft rock. We're going to celebrate 15 years of marriage this week. Hard to believe and I still don't think I deserve him... But I am a blessed woman. I might not have all of the financial blessings one could hope for, but I've got the ones that really matter. :)

Ah, yes.

2011-02-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

‎"We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

That's what I get...

2011-02-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

For saying how great things have been! It hasn't been a good week on the kid front, honestly. Problems at school with behavior, turning homework in and academics were on the table this week from various students in our little fam. Plus, we haven't been having the best success with kids doing what they should at home either. We have lists to keep everyone on task and they've either been just not doing things or doing them so half-arsed that they need to be redone. And we're the bad guys when we call them on it. Sometimes having 5 kids can just add up to feel like too much when things are challenging!

This morning was the worst... I had a terribly fun pre-teen blow out with one of the girls complete with her hitting way below the belt with mean, mean words. It is hard to remember that they are just trying to hurt, not necessarily meaning the words, when they are so nasty. And the dumbest part was that is was all an escalation of something small. It could have been over in an instant, but no... Acting like a 2 year old isn't cool when you're 9 (10 or 11? Whatever...). Not a great way to start the day.

How can I feel like we're doing great one week and then the next I feel like such a failure? I feel like I try really hard to make everything work and to help everyone be successful. Sometimes it just isn't enough, I guess. I feel like eating lots of cookies and watching TV all day. Too bad I have masters homework to get done for a master that they don't want to pay me for- yup, that's right. The governor also proposed freezing us at our current education and years of experience levels, so when I earn my masters in the fall, I won't get that pay bump either. I'm trying so hard to not get down about all of this crap, but it's hard. Each year when our experience pay has gone up, it has just barely covered the increased cost of our insurance going up, so next year we might actually take home less than we do this year.

Maybe this is why my kids aren't working hard? I told them that our National Boards and my masters, while being hard work and taking lots of time and effort, would all pay off for our family. Clearly, I didn't know what I was talking about, so why work hard? From what they've seen lately it looks like it won't make a damn bit of difference...

Sorry. It hasn't been a great week and I'm feeling a little beat up.

How are things?

2011-01-28T08:19:00.000-08:00

So, I thought I'd do a little "how are we now" post about our family since the adoption. When I think back to where we started as a family, I think it is pretty amazing to see where we are now. The transition, after 2.5 years, is complete. We are all secure in our roles as individuals within the family and we have normalcy. Well, normal for us, which includes costumes, karaoke and roller skating. :)

Luke- His heart is gold, that one, though he sometimes takes his "I'm the oldest" role a bit too seriously. Luckily all of the kids are quite capable of standing up for themselves, so it doesn't get out of hand. He, overall, is doing well but is struggling with being responsible to get all of his school work turned in. His mama doesn't quite get how he can get the work done at home, but it doesn't find its way to his teacher. Grrrrr! Luke impresses me regularly with his reflective, thoughtful nature though. He hears people's pain and wants to help make it better. That is a lovely quality in a young man.

Ellen- Our slightly older twin is getting better about believing in herself and not beating herself up for not living up to her own standards. Ellen wants to be at the top of everything and she works harder than just about anybody I know. But skipping a grade this year since it was clear that she, and her sister, were older than we originally thought has been a challenge academically. She isn't as strong a reader as her heart wants her to be, but we're working on going from where she is to the next level. She is doing great with that and honestly, I think this is good for her. Her hard work will pay off and she'll know, in a deeper way, that an obstacle is just that- something to get around and not a failure. She is continuing to develop and faces, along with her sister, some kids at school that are shallow and judgmental, but we get the chance to make peace with that at a young age, so we can put that negative crap in its place and find strength in our own self-belief. Ellen loves people and does all she can to help her family out.

Elizabeth- Elizabeth, as the slightly younger twin (like by 30 minutes), is facing many of the same issues as Ellen. This has been a tough year in many ways, but one that has allowed her to find her self-worth from inside, rather than external validation. She gets frustrated with herself when she doesn't perform the way she wants to, put she is getting stronger in knowing that she needs to buckle down and work through it. I see less giving up and more digging in. GREAT stuff for her! Elizabeth is a generous girl and she'll help anyone out. She is a love!

Yaw- Since moving to my new school, he is doing well. He continues to be some sort of linguistic genius. How anybody can read, write and spell like he can when he's only been here 2.5 years floors me. He is WAY above grade level in second grade and I have no explanation for his gift, except that it IS a gift and I am so glad for him. :) Yaw has made HUGE improvements in telling the truth, which is a relief. He is still working on developing empathy for others, but he is coming along. I was always most concerned about Yaw's transition, but I think he is on track. His attachment is just slower and that is ok. He's got a million dollar smile and gives the most beautiful hugs. Sometimes he writes his parents little love notes and that is very encouraging stuff. :)

Jonah- Our youngest little guy is doing great. He loves his brothers and sisters, he loves school (he has a great relationship with his teacher- kind of works out nicely when it is your mom!), he loves homework, he loves life. He is reading way above the end of year standard and is truly thriving. He will be joining the ranks of the glasses-wearing F. family, but he's excited. He can't wait to be like his big brother Luke.

The sibling relationship among all is right on par. They love each other, fight, make up, show kindness to each other, defend each other, tease each other and they KNOW they have each other to depend on. They celebrate each others' successes and encourage each other when they are down (well, most of the time!). I could not be happier with how they love each other, even if they are the 5 loudest children on the planet. :) I am a blessed woman and watching this journey of our family has been a gift. There were times I truly wondered if we'd really "get there." But we have and it is gloriously beautiful!

Best Job in the World!

2011-01-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

There are days that being a teacher is truly the most amazing job in the world... Weeks that you see students rise up from one level to another in their learning, sometimes in giant leaps. Some call those "light bulb moments," but somehow, in Kindergarten, they feel so much bigger than that to me. They really do. Kids go from really thinking they "can't" to realizing that they CAN. For many of them, this is the first time they've had that feeling in an academic setting. It might be the first time they've had expectation to live up to and, perhaps, the first time they've been pushed. I have high expectations for every student. I know that they often think they won't make it, but they start to get there, they start to see progress and there is a fire that begins to grow inside them. It is gloriously beautiful to see! Here are a couple of the amazing highlights of the past week or so:

1. Learning all of the letter names (capital and lower case) and the letter sounds. I have been working on this with them from day 1. At aboutThanksgiving we had 2 students that mastered them all, and this Wednesday, we had more than half of the class there with all but 3 being super close to mastery. We made a plan to match kids that have mastered them to work in the first 10 minutes of the day with those that are still working. 2 days later we retested ones that felt ready and 3 passed the capital letters and one finished his last one- the sounds. In 2 days! Brilliant! They are fired up and ready to help each other ALL get there. We cheer each other on and celebrate our successes together. We have a goal to have everybody there by mid-March and we'll have a celebration if we make it. We WILL make it. Even the 3 that aren't close have doubled or tripled their knowledge since the end of November and we have in class interventions going to get them there. Kids were walking out today saying things like, "Now that I have my capitals mastered, I'm really going to focus on those lower case letters. I bet I can get them!"

2. The realization that they CAN decode words! This is happening for LOTS of kids as they are taking their letter sound knowledge to the next level. Often it starts to happen with my guided reading groups, but sometimes it happens at other times... Today the littlest girl in our class was sliding her touchy tiger finger way too fast to really be reading during read to self. I approached her and asked her to fight for those words. I challenged her to focus on each one and see if she could get them. She read a few heart words she'd learned (oh, I DO know those) and then she came to the word "get" and she looked up at me. I looked at her and said, you know those sounds G., stretchy snake them. And she did it. Then she kept reading and stretchy snaked a few more. She read the WHOLE page and she looked up and me with the hugest look of pride and joy on her face because, for the first time, she KNEW she was really reading! It does NOT get any better than that. I've SO been enjoying the kids starting to apply their letter sound knowledge and for some it unfolds slowly and for some, like little G., it is a a giant leap. What a privilege to be a part of that magic. This is a girl that knew 1 letter name when I came into the classroom and no sounds. Look at her now!

What a great job I have. I know every single one of my students knows that I believe in them and care about their learning. Each one of them has tasted and celebrated success. They know where they are going and why. I take their learning seriously and it means the world to me to help them reach their potential. Moving back into the Kindergarten classroom was the best thing I could have ever done. I am where I belong. I am grateful to teach these amazing kids and to be a witness to their growth.

The Beauty of Our Children

2011-01-17T19:24:00.001-08:00

We've had a lot of highs and lows when it comes to housing since our children came home from Ghana. Our little house we own is becoming a bit of an albatross. We have a friend renting it and she's a good renter, but we needed a buyer! Today I checked in with our realtor and prices have fallen again. She is now saying she isn't sure we can get out of it what we owe. That felt like a slap with a cold fish, right upside the head. I was sharing with Chester about it and I shed just a tear or two. No bawling, just a sniff. Sitting in a house with rent that is more than our mortgage, knowing that even if we price our little place bargain basement, it still might be enough to cover what we owe, coming to grips that the National Board money we worked so hard to earn is likely going to be gone... it just felt pretty bad. I know we are still luckier than so many, blessed beyond the comprehension of most of the world though. I have to keep coming back to that... But still, it is hard to feel "good" about this situation.

Our kids know that we may have to go back to the little place, so we can save up for a down payment for the next one. They aren't thrilled, but they know we can do it. Our oldest was working at the table when I was talking to Chester about what the realtor said. I am sorry that he heard me be upset because I try not to trouble the kids with these kinds of grown up worries, though I don't shield them completely either. They know something is going on and so talking about it, in a way that feels safe for them, is good. They feel valued and get to start thinking about important things like saving money, working hard, preparing for difficulty. But today, I didn't mean for my son to hear me cry, even if it was for just a moment.

I went into my bedroom and Chester came in. After a few minutes all of the kids came in and said that there was something sitting on the coffee table for me and they weren't sure where it had come from. Hmmmm... I was thinking that my sweet kids had made me a card. There was an envelope addressed to me so it looked like mail and inside was a note that said, "When you open this we hope it will help in some way. There is around 121 dollars in this. Hope it helps."

It was anonymous and it held inside it all of the money my children have been saving for months. All of it. Allowances and birthday money, given so freely and with such love. I cried and hugged them and told them what a special gift this was because they gave something from their heart to help their family. I told them that I wanted them to keep their money, but the gift meant more than I could ever explain to them. They said "Mom! You weren't supposed to know it was from us. We knew you wouldn't keep it if you knew it was from us!"

I'm not sure I even have the words for how I feel about what they did, but I do know I am the luckiest mom in the world to have these 5 amazing, giving, loving, beautiful people to call my children. How can I feel anything but blessed?

Balance- It's the resolution!

2010-12-28T21:25:00.000-08:00

Ah, yes, resolution time! I am very clear about what I want to change in my life... I need balance. The change in jobs after the start of the school year and the need to learn all new curriculum, yada, yada-yada, has thrown our life out of balance. I have been spending too much time on the job- not really a ton considering how new it all is, but still it is time to refocus because the job has been winning more of my attention than my family more often than it should. It has drained me and tired me out so I haven't been taking care of myself like I should. I am not upset by this because it really has been necessary, but still, it has to let up.

I have spent quite a bit of time getting ahead and getting organized at school over the break. I am ready to rock and roll when we go back and much of the work I've done will save me tons of stressed afternoons. There is sense to it, I have it useable and maintainable. That feels great. It should help me to leave at a reasonable time in the afternoon and be fully present with my family. I am going to try my best to NOT bring work home! I give all of myself while I am there and I have to set a time when my time there is over. I am going to try to stick to that. My family deserves to have mom fully present.

I also am recommitting to my health. I have rejoined Weight Watchers online because I have 20 lbs to go and I can't do it without stricter discipline. Having to document what I eat forces me to stop reaching out for those darned Hershey kisses! Or if I reach out I know exactly how many are acceptable and that is NOT half the bag! I also track my activity and have joined a workout 3 days a week minimum challenge group on the online community. I need accountability right now and Weight Watchers online, at $17 per month, is giving me that. In order to start I had to get back on the scale again, which I haven't been on in ions. I feared a weight gain and I did have a little, but not much (couple of pounds). I am glad for that because I hate to re-lose weight I already lost!!! I have been "on plan" for 3 days now, I've worked out twice and I already feel better.

So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I think all of this is doable. The hardest thing for me is to walk away from my class and not ruminate on it. I must get that under control. I plan on getting in some practice this week since I told myself that today was the last day I was doing anything for school until we go back on the 3rd. Yee-haw for family time and bring on the New Year!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-28T18:04:00.000-08:00

Whispering with Santa...

Urkel, is that you?

Somebody likes jammie pants... maybe a little too much.

Apparently so do I...

Right before bed on Christmas Eve- Santa's plate is ready and has carrots for the reindeer too!

Christmas morning- Luke is sporting Wolverine hands with his candy canes.

Lots of fun with scooters!

Focusing on the Positive

2010-12-18T20:18:00.000-08:00

My last post was a lot about helping me focus on why I love my job because we just got some pretty disappointing news about our newly earned National Board certification. The bonus that is a law in our state has been put on the chopping block by our governor during these thoroughly crappy economic times (as well as all day Kindergarten, oy!). We'll get this year's bonus, but after that we won't if her suggestion is voted in, which is most likely will be. This year's money is going to be smaller since we have to pay back the fees for certifying out of the money, but it is still a decent chunk of change. The following 2 years bonus was going to be our down payment money for a home big enough for our family. It is likely that won't happen now.

But, I have a job (will it be in Kindergarten though? Hard to say if things keep going this way) and so does my husband. For that we are VERY grateful. We've decided that if our renter doesn't want to stay when we put the little house we own on the market when her lease is up that we will move into it. 1100 square feet and 1 bathroom for a family of 7 will not be pleasant, but we will be able to put cash away for that down payment and have the house on the market and NOT pay a mortgage and rent at the same time that way. We'd never be able to save enough covering both (and frankly, I'm not sure we could swing it for more than a month or two anyhow).

It's sort of depressing, but I am trying to remember that we are still very lucky and that we still have options, even if we are taking it in the shorts on a promise that will be broken to us and thousands of other teachers that had this carrot dangled in front of them only to have it taken away- and yet the state is bragging about having the 4th highest number of Nationally Board certified teachers in the nation. Uggh. Too bad they got that by making promises that they aren't going to keep. Do all of this work to make yourself a highly qualified teacher, increase student learning and your teaching impact and we'll pay you what you're worth- ha! My family will lose $12,500 per year that we were promised (since we both certified and Chester works half-time at a very high needs school)... That's tough to swallow.

There are MANY painful cuts outlined in this budget and education and health care are taking the biggest hits, as usual. It is a shame, but it is what it is. I am still thankful for my job and for the security I have that I am not a newbie (and neither is my husband), so we are likely to keep our jobs, but I worry for others. Dark times and if we do move into that little, tiny house will all of us, we'll need lots of prayers that we can maintain our sanity!!! :)

To teach is to be blessed

2010-12-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

No matter what capacity we teach in, we are blessed to guide children. If you are a mom, you're a teacher. I also happen to be a teacher in a Kindergarten classroom and sometimes I am a mom there too because Kindergarteners need a mother's love, even when mom isn't there.

I pride myself on being very focused on academics in my Kinder classroom, but I also try to be a guide for social development. Many of the kids that come to school aren't well-versed in sharing, kindness, or expressing their needs in a healthy way. We work on those things. Please and thank you are words that float through the room freely now, though they did NOT when I got there. I am as proud of that as I am that almost all of my kids now know at least half their letter sounds (and some are at mastery and many close to it). All it takes to make manners happen is praise when you hear it and a genuine recognition of how that makes ME feel to hear it. "Thank you so much for your manners. It makes me feel so good to hear thank you when I hand you something!" Then bada-bing bada boom, the next kid wants that praise too. :) Snowball effect and it becomes a habit. A recognition of what a polite and thankful class we have keeps it going.

During these past 3 weeks, our shift has been to a less intense academic experience in literacy and math to a focus on social studies with literacy and math infused in it. There is good reason for this- the kids are NOT focused like normal because of the holiday excitement, plus holidays are part of our social studies curriculum, so it is the perfect time to study winter holidays around the world. They are able to focus on things associated with this time of year with the "tough stuff" added in. I put my heart and soul into making this unit fun (we take "plane rides" to the different places with a drink service and passports that get stamped) and I provide a souvenir from each place, often little things I've made myself. I make St. Lucia buns from scratch for our visit to Sweden, I made chocolate Eiffel towers for our trip to France, I bought each student a little dreidel for our study of Hanukkah.

But I also make sure that the kids understand that these things take time, money and energy. I don't do this so they appreciate my efforts so much as I do it to make sure that they see that everything that is done for them takes energy, thought and caring from the person giving it and that should be appreciated and NOT taken for granted. I don't do it with a lecture so much as a description of what I did to make it happen and why I did it (because I thought it would help them remember our special time in whatever country or I thought they'd like to try the food we were reading about, etc)... It means that instead of hearing "I hate raisins!" when I served the goodies (we had a brief discussion that when someone works hard on something, that it might hurt their feelings to hear that you "hate it" and what could we do or say that would show appreciation instead when this came up earlier- yes I heard those words from several kids early on) I now see kiddos politely removing the raisins and saying "Thanks for making these for us Mrs. Ferrell." No joke, one little girl made this exact change from the gingerbread cookies with raisin eyes at the start of the unit to the St. Lucia buns just last week. That is wonderful social growth!

The other day, after we hung tinsel I brought in for our Christmas Tree once we'd read the WONDERFUL BOOK, Cobweb Christmas: The Tradition of Tinsel (one of my favorite Christmas stories now, we used it as part of our Christmas in Germany study and I highly recommend it!), I asked a few of the kids if they liked hanging the tinsel we just read about in our fantastic story and one of the boys said, "Yes! And I know why you brought it for us too." I asked him why he thought I brought it and he said "Because you love us Mrs. Ferrell." And you know what, he's right. I really do love them and I care a ton about their success in school and life. What a wonderful gift to me that I got to hear that all of the things that I do for my class translates to love in this little boy's heart. :)

This same boy gave me a little gift yesterday. It was an angel pin and when I put it on and told him how much I liked it. He said, "I got you an angel pin because you're an angel" and he gave me a quick hug and scurried away to go back to his learning station. What a gift. I am so blessed to have a job where my hours of work, thoughtful planning and effort go rewarded like that. I get to see massive growth in learning, both academically and socially and I get sweet, love-filled hugs that mean so very much. I am so blessed! I hope your holidays are blessed as well and that you are lucky enough to get to teach the important stuff to the kids in your life.

So Thankful...

2010-11-24T20:12:00.000-08:00

Thanks abound in my heart right now...

Thankful for my job. I am back where I belong, forming a classroom family. There are moments that connect us deeply and moments that break my heart, but I am glad to be there. The light of learning, and self-belief, is a gift to inspire.

Thankful for kind-hearted adults that rally around our children. A boy, with only a hoodie and a broken zipper, now has a warm winter coat and one for his sister and brother too. People just stepped up and made it happen. His fierce, surprise attack hugs throughout the morning made my heart glow. Those hugs were for the 3 that stepped up for him when I put out the call. Watching him walk out the door in a warm coat and a big bag to take home in the 2 degree weather today was a good feeling.

Thankful for my incredible kids. I could write for hours about how they bless me, but I'll just give you one example from this morning. Luke was lucky enough to be picked as a top 10 finalist for the Wenatchee World Christmas Card contest and the whole family surround him with heartfelt congratulations and not a word of disappointment for themselves in not being chosen. And it was REAL. Pure. If one of us wins, we all win. THAT is enough to make me cry, to see that live and in action. What a blessing.

Thankful for my husband. Again, could write for hours, but I won't. I'll just say that from the moment I met him I knew he was different and right for me. His values, dedication, faith in me, love, patience, humor and consistency make him a blessing to our family every single day.

Thankful for friends and family. There are those people that light up life just by being there. The ones that I am most grateful for are the ones that are there regularly. They do so much just in remembering to check in, to say "Hi" to offer a comment or a "like" or make a phone call. It especially means a lot with the change in jobs... I don't have my old school peeps around me anymore and now am in a new environment and those that are there through the transitions give me strength and confidence. I am thankful for that!

Thankful for passing the National Boards. Our next home that we buy (as opposed to rent) will be because we passed this year. It might still be 2-3 years until we buy, but it will happen and for that I am thankful. And I am VERY thankful that Chester will be able to be an art teacher at any age- he IS an art teacher and knowing that he will get to continue in that makes me feel so happy.

Thankful for the oodles of simple pleasures. Food, heat, clean water, health... things that so many wish they had. We have in abundance.

I am so blessed and I hope this Thanksgiving gives you the opportunity to appreciate all of the blessings you have in your life! :)

National Boards Results

2010-11-19T22:17:00.000-08:00

I found out 2 days ago that our National Boards scores were going to be released this morning. What a horrifying thought- if Chester and I didn't pass, that would mean we'd have to get rolling on the parts we'd need to retake. With the job change (and not bring in a library any more), I thought "How awful!" I almost didn't want to know... Couldn't I stay ignorant just a bit longer?

At 6am (ish) I logged on and saw the words "Congratulations! You are a National Board Certified Teacher" and I instantly burst into tears of relief and joy, screaming and jumping around with my family. It was an amazing feeling! So much relief and gratitude! Thank you God!

Chester has decided he was not going to look until after school, but after I found out, he changed his mind. He saw the same thing! He passed too! He refused to believe it until he read the entire announcement though- "Congratulations! You are a National Board Certified Teacher" wasn't going to convince him completely. ;) He was thrilled and we spent a good 5 minutes just hugging and jumping and cheering. I felt like I was in a daze all day long!

We are beyond thrilled for ourselves and for our family. It will mean more dough, certification that lasts 10 years and now Chester will have an art endorsement on top if his regular certificate, making him able to teach art at any level K-12. Awesome! SO HAPPY!!!!

Tradition!

2010-11-11T07:01:00.000-08:00

I loved the first year our kids were home! SO many firsts and holiday related ones were the best. But I love the joy they have now in the traditions even more than the firsts. There is something so real and solid in them knowing and anticipating our traditions. It makes a family to have these shared experiences, along with the love and support we offer each other, as we travel the journey of life together.

I adore "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" and every year from about now until winter break is over we watch it at least 10 times. This weekend, with it being a 4 day break, I will be tightening our girls locs in their hair (SO overdue) and we always watch movies while we do that... It made me so happy when Ellen said, "I know what I want to watch- Christmas Vacation!" There were shouts of joy from all at the suggestion. She's ready to get started on our Christmas traditions this year and she knows that THIS is how we start. Not the classiest movie, but it makes me laugh so much! I love that she shares in that with me.

"Hey Griswold, where you gonna put a tree that big?"

"Bend over and I'll show you."

FYI- the phrase "bend over and I'll show you" is easily able to be used year 'round and is especially poignant when someone is looking for something. Here is an example for you...

"Do you know where my keys are?"

"Bend over and I'll show you."

Or, you can add on...

"I can't find my jacket. Have you seen it?"

"Sure. Bend over and I'll show you where it is."

Enjoy!

SOS in Nepal

2010-11-02T18:09:00.001-07:00

A friend alerted me to her friend's situation in Nepal. Jenni is from Leavenworth, WA, which is about 30 minutes from us. Her story is heart-breaking- She is there currently with her newly adopted son, but she is stuck. Her legal son can't come home because the U.S. Embassy won't issue a visa to her child or the 80 other families that have adopted children ready to come home. I don't doubt that the Embassy has valid concerns, but the burden of proof they are asking for is creating a huge hardship. Many of us in the adoption world can relate to the terror of having an adopted child possibly not come home to us. It is a horrible fear, but one that few of us really have to face like these families have had to. Please visit Jenni's blog and read up on her story. There are several news articles linked to her story there as well, if you want to be filled in on the details about this situation. You can sign a petition to help too.

Hey, hey, hey...

2010-10-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

So, it has been a long time since I've posted here and there is almost too much to say, so I'm just going to nutshell it. I changed jobs and I am teaching Kindergarten at a new school. Big transition... Jonah is in my class (which is AWESOME!) and Yaw really wanted to come to my school too. He is doing great and things are going well. My class is a challenging group, but we are making progress. Been there about a month now... So here's a quick recap of some other recent highlights:

Luke turned 11 on October 13th!

We've been enjoying the fruits of fall- including caramel apples!

We had a mini-Ghanaian reunion with biological relatives of the Ghana kids and friends from the orphanage. Very cool!

And today, we carved our pumpkins. All of the kids pretty much did them on their own, except Jonah, and boy, did they have fun. :)

Hope you're having a wonderful fall!!!

2 Years as a Complete Family!

2010-09-12T07:34:00.000-07:00

Today we are going out to celebrate our family being complete for 2 years! It is hard to believe that it's been that long in some ways, but in other it seems like we've been together forever. As hard as that first year was, the second year has been brilliant. We've felt like a "normal family" with "normal problems" and that has been most welcome. All of the kids are thriving, they love each other and we have a wonderful life together.

I can't wait to go sit together today and celebrate US. Each member adds so much to the dynamic of this family of ours and all together we make a pretty special group, I must say. I feel so fortunate to live the life I do with these 6 other people that God has blessed me with. I couldn't love them more! Happy "F" Family day to us!

Colchuck Lake- The Enchantments

2010-09-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

A couple of friends of mine and I have had this hike planned for a while now and today was the day! It was so spectacularly beautiful and no picture could do it justice, but I thought I'd post a few anyway. This is the hike up to Colchuck Lake, part of The Enchantments. Some day I will crest over those mountains and see the multiple lakes that are said to be over the ridge... some day. But for today, I got to be in a magical, beautiful place with 2 lovely ladies. I finally got to see this lake I'd been dreaming of and it was MORE wonderful than I'd hoped. After all, I'd only seen pictures and pictures can't do it justice. ;)

The waterfall on the way up that we frequently got to enjoy...

Only 800 more feet to the lake!

This little guy joined us for lunch.

Thar she blows! SO beautiful!

I Heart Yoga

2010-09-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

Never in my life did I think there would be ANYTHING that would make me get out of bed a minute before I HAD to on a work day. But then I discovered Rodney Yee's yoga DVD's and after enjoying his beginning dvd, and am/pm dvd, I decided to get one that focuses on starting your day during the work week (AM Yoga for Your Week). There are 5 different workouts that focus on a certain type of pose/area of the body. They are 20 minutes long and I have so enjoyed starting my day with my frosted mini wheats followed by some Rodney Yee. He is clear, soothing and speaks to me. I feel my body open up just like he describes. I can make the small adjustments he suggests and notice a marked difference. It's a fabulous way to start the day... and the best part?

Well, today, I had 3 of my kids hurry to get their morning tasks done, not so that they could watch TV (we allow a little in the morning and a little in the evening), but so they could do yoga with me! Luke has done it all this week and the girls joined us today as well. Luke is sold. He loves it and enjoys the peaceful feeling he's left with after the work is done and we melt into relaxation pose. SO awesome.

I'm not great at it. I'm not flexible yet, but I am improving. I can go further than I could before. And as I tried to get myself, rather unsuccessfully, into the camel pose today and I glanced over at my kids, doing it better than I could, I felt very happy about getting out of bed 20 minutes earlier so we could start off our busy days with the joyous peace that yoga delivers. It's good stuff, I tell you. Good, good stuff. :)

Freddie for a Day

2010-09-06T17:08:00.000-07:00

This is our tribute to Freddie Mercury for "Freddie for a Day," which was on September 3rd designed to raise awareness for the charity, the Mercury Phoenix Trust, which works to fight the spread of HIV/AIDS. The mini-Mercuries join me the middle of my favorite karaoke song ever- "Bohemian Rhapsody." And yes, there are mustaches. Many, many mustaches. Enjoy!

First Days of School

2010-09-04T08:20:00.001-07:00

You may have noticed a change in our family blog picture at the top. That was our first day of school shot! Jonah actually had his real first day the next day (soft start for Kinders) and boy was he excited! Here is a little update of how everyone is doing so far:

Luke, our 5th grader: He is the "King of the School" according to his grade level now and he is really enjoying 5th grade so far. He is in safety patrol and loves helping the kids cross safely. He also got to be one of the lunch helpers this week, which pays with free hot lunch, so he is good to go (we're cold lunchers, so this is a big treat). I've only heard good things from his teacher so far! :)

Ellen and Elizabeth, our 4th graders: You may not have noticed, but the girls skipped a grade. Their doctor feels that the age they are on paper is off by 2 years, and at a minimum 1. He actually thinks 5th grade is where they fit from their development. It is amazing what proper nutrition does for bodies! We have placed them in the same home room this year (last year we tried separate since they got too competitive with each other). When they are shakey or unsure, they are the best support for each other. So far they are LOVING it. They feel like they connect better with the kids in this age group and have handled not knowing everything like champs. We had many conversations about how there would be lots of things that they don't know and will need to work on, but they can do it. They are both hard working girls and we're dedicated to helping them with whatever they need. Their teacher, one of my good friends and a super talented teacher, is going to let us know how we can best support them or fill in gaps. In fact, though they "get" multiplication (we worked on it as soon as we knew they were moving up) they need to work on grouping- making 3 groups of 5 instead of 5 groups of 3 when asked. They got the right answer, but the grouping was off. I am so proud of the girls for being "cool" with not knowing things- this is so hard for one of our girls in particular and it made me want to cry when she was talking about what she didn't know like it was no big deal and we'd just work on it!!! SO huge for her!

Yaw, our 2nd grader: The Yaw man is off to a great start! We requested a teacher for him that is very structured and very on top of what is happening. She sets clear expectations and helps kiddos get in line if they step out. She is perfect for him. He does so well when he knows what to do and that someone is watching. ;) She says he's needed some redirection, but is doing a great job for her. He has come a long way. He is doing great with being honest now and isn't being sneaky with food. HUGE improvements for him. One of the biggest moments of empathy I saw in him was when he was meeting his little brother at their meeting spot after his first day of Kindergarten and he rushed up to Jonah and said "Jonah! Jonah, how was your first day?" And it was pure. It was loving. It was filled with concern for someone else. Lovely to see! He's a wonderful kid and so smart. I have zero academic concerns for him, so seeing this social growth is brilliant! Yea for Yaw!

Jonah, our Kindergartener: He has been waiting 2 years for this moment! Finally it arrived! The night before he insisted on doing an entire Kindergarten workbook. He made his lunch with me with such joy. I bet it was the most delicious thing he'd ever eaten. ;) I got to get him settled in his classroom in the morning and he did a great job getting started with everything. I had to go teach my first class, but I stayed long enough to watch him get into circle time. It was hard to be a "butt-outski" and not pop in, but I knew I'd be a distraction so I fought my urge to peek in at him all day. However, I was doing some computer work and heard his teachers voice in the hall. I looked out of the window from my spot and saw Jonah, his hands tucked behind his back, looking at me. I waved, he waved back. Then I blew him a kiss. He reached out, caught that kiss, and put it on his cheek. What a moment, seeing my sweet baby in the hall like that, but still catching my kisses! At the end of the day I was waiting for him to make sure he would meet his brothers and sisters at the meeting spot and he just had great things to say about his first day. He told me about everything he did and finished with "Mom, school was a lot of fun, but it was just so looooonnnngg." Amen on that buddy. Amen. His teacher told me later that he was a model student- so eager and followed the directions like a champ. She thought he was just as ready as we KNEW he was!

For the teacher parents Chester and Amy? Well, we had great first days too. Seeing all of the kids again, getting hugs, and chatting with them... It's gold I tell you. This is my 4th year teaching these kids and I genuinely love them. I also love helping make the new kids feel welcome. And having the brand new kinders on their first day? Always interesting, let me tell you! I forget just how foreign all of this sitting down and listening to what people say stuff is to them! :) It was a great start and we're all looking forward to an awesome year!

December Amy/August Amy

2010-08-29T17:18:00.000-07:00

So here are some photos. The top one and the ones on the left are from December and the ones on the right are from today. :) Hope you can notice a change!

Transformation into Health

2010-08-27T14:03:00.000-07:00

OK, so I first will apologize for not having any photos (of my transformation and the new house). What can I say- we've gotten all but about 20 boxes unloaded and somewhere within lies our camera. We'll find it soon enough!

Lots of people have been asking me about what I've been doing to lose weight. So, I thought I'd share. First, for the first time, my focus isn't about losing weight any longer. I want to be healthy and strong. That's my goal and it is a forever, lifetime change. I am NOT on a diet. Of course, like practically every woman in America, I sure have been. The only diet that taught me anything was Weight Watchers because it showed me how to eat- portion control, healthy choices, and generally about the right volumes of EVERY type of food. Real food.

Let's be honest. We've all heard it before that diets don't work and we want a quick fix, so it is tempting to try some diet that someone we know has lost a ton of weight with, but how can that last? Once you're done and have lost the weight, how do you maintain it in the real world? Almost everyone gains it back, so no more diets!

Eating

Breakfast:

I eat breakfast every day and I choose something with a decent amount of fiber. I like Total Raisin Bran and darn skippy, I love Frosted Shredded Wheat. Sure the 'frosted' makes it a little less "perfect," but if you read the labels, it is mostly good stuff. The serving suggestion for size needs to be followed and I think it is reasonable. I use 1% milk for the whole family, including myself. I hate skim and I can't do it, so I don't. :)

Snacks:

I eat 2 scheduled snacks, plus I eat another (sometimes 2!) after the kids go to bed (this time is always my danger zone and I usually do a good snack and a treat). I like Yoplait Light yogurt, Light Babybel cheese, carrots with hummus, frozen grapes (my favorite and they save me when I need something sweet!), other fruit/veggies, and sometimes a small bowl of cereal.

Dinner:

I eat what everyone else eats, but if it is naughty (like pizza) it is all about portion control. Instead of 3 slices of pizza, I eat one and have a big portion of veggies. I am also making a few meatless dishes for the family per week and try to make our meat dishes as healthy as possible. I swear, I MUST allow myself to have what I want or I will never, never make it, but I don't have to have an entire plate of it. :)

Treats:

I keep Hershey Kisses with almonds way up high in my cupboard and have 3-5 when I have a strong chocolate craving. We eat a bad meal from somewhere out about once a week to week and a half. I eat all of it, I enjoy it and guess what, it is all good! We all deserve to splurge from time to time and if I don't, the odds of bingeing on loads of crap goes up exponentially for me. I also keep baked cheddar and sour cream potato chips around and occasionally need Hot Tamales to make me happy. I also know that every month, right before my time o'the month I eat more treats. I try not to go nuts, but I do indulge a bit more. And guess what? It's all good too.

Exercise

Overall thoughts:

I am convinced that THIS is the ticket. If I did nothing diet wise, I'd do this first. Not kidding. Getting your heart rate up, challenging those muscles, moving? After you get into a groove of doing it (my groove takes about 2 weeks to kick in after not exercising for a while- haven't been out of a groove since December), it makes you feel amazing and you know what? I eat better on the days I exercise. I don't want to undo the good work and I don't tend to feel low (I eat naughty when I am emotional). I also try this to not let myself off the hook, but to allow for a break sometimes. This is what I do now that I am in decent shape (but see my starters idea in the next paragraph if you aren't there yet). Here is what I ask myself when I really, really don't want to exercise- Did you exercise yesterday? If the answer is yes, and I feel strongly about not doing it, then I don't. If the answer is no, then TOUGH. Do it and stop whining! :) I am at a point where I exercise 6 days a week most weeks (5 sometimes). It is what I need now.

Just starting?:

Now if you are JUST STARTING- go easier on yourself. I started with 3 days per week for 30 minutes. And it WAS enough. I set myself into good habits and got moving. We started with dance parties. Just dancing with the kids around the house. Do things you like! You need to do the things you like at first. It is so important. You can add in toning and pushing yourself later. Your body will tell you when it's time (it gets too easy, you stop progressing, etc). Then you can bump up the time a bit (or days of the week, eventually both). Also, you can always increase your intensity (speed/energy expended).

What I am doing now:

We joined a gym because our kids wanted to take karate and when I looked into it our whole family could join the WRAC, which offers karate for members, for the cost of ONE KID getting karate lessons at one of the schools! No brainer! Plus, we can take classes too. I do Group Power twice per week, which is a barbell class using weights (not really heavy, but lots of repetitions). I think this class has made a ton of difference for my strength and toning over the summer. It is noticeable. Plus, our doctors want women doing work with weights as we age (you could so do this type of work at home- I started with soup can for my arms!).

I also get plenty of cardio. Right now we are training for a half marathon, and I am NOT loving it, but we run 3 times per week. We take the kids up to the track with lots of sporting equipment, so they can play in the grassy center (or run with us, which they all do off and on), so it's a family affair. We do 2 short runs (started at 2 miles and now we've worked up to 4.5 miles) and 1 long one per week (the long started at 3.5 miles and this Sunday we, gulp, jump up to 7 miles). I also do Zumba on Saturday, which I adore!!!! I started doing Zumba at home on DVD's with the kids in the late winter and I loved it, but taking the class is even more fun. I actually have signed up to take the trainer course and will be doing Zumba classes for the teachers at my school (for free) twice per week starting at the end of October (and when the darn half-marathon is over!). Can't wait for that- I love to dance! Zumba is a super fun salsa inspired dance/fitness class, if you didn't know.

I also do some yoga in there for relaxation (again with the kids). I really like Rodney Yee's Beginners and AM/PM yoga. Short, but sweet and focused on relaxation!

Weighing Myself

I did it once per week until the start of the summer. Now I don't. I cared too much about what it said! Sometimes I would have been SO good diet and exercise-wise only to have the scale show nothing. It was disheartening and made me want to give up. I hovered at having lost 29 pounds for a while and I got very frustrated. So now I just go by how things fit. I have a few "goal clothes" waiting in the wings (I usually get something used that is cute, but a bit too tight) and when I feel things loosening up around the middle in what I'm currently wearing, then I go try on a goal shirt or dress. Nothing feels better, or is more affirming than that, especially when it is a size I honestly never thought I'd see again a year ago...

Lots of people love the scale, but I am not one of them!

Final Thoughts

I feel so much better, in so many ways. I am grateful to feel better and look better. It is worth it and you don't have to be perfect to be successful, but you do have to be steady. You have to get back making good choices after you've made a not so great one. That's the key. One bad food decision can't make you decide to just give up. Start exercising. Just do 30 minutes 3 times a week if you haven't been doing much. I can promise you that even if you eat like you are right now, you WILL feel better. Put it on the calendar and do not allow yourself to make excuses! It is just TOO EASY to do.

I'll post some pics when I find my camera. Sounds kind of weird to do, but I know I've lost a lot and if you haven't seen me, you might just think I'm full of it! :)

Becoming Home

2010-08-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

I feel so very different now than I did when I wrote my last post. We are in our new home and getting settled and I am starting to fall in love with this place's charms. There are many- the laundry chute that drops the clothes right next to the washer (brilliant!), the wonderful kitchen faucet that pulls out and offers a stream or spray option with a built in soap dispenser, the central AC, the layout of the living room and how it welcomes the baby grand piano (the BEST it has ever looked since we've owned it, having always been in a room too cramped for it everywhere else). And the beautiful dark wood trim work, the recessed oval ceiling, the pretty bathroom tiles, the breakfast counter... LOVE it.

I was wrong about this house. It is wonderful and sweet. It has been loved. It was thoughtfully and skillfully built. As we put our things away, I realize that this place fits our things better than the last house. This place feels more like a home to me that I could have predicted. It makes the loss of our "dream house" seem silly; so quickly healed, like we used moving neosporin or something! I am very grateful for that because it did hurt to say good-bye to that place, but this new "hello" has been so warm and so comfortable.

Moving

2010-08-13T20:40:00.000-07:00

I probably shouldn't be writing this post. I am entirely too grumpy and whiney and tired, but oh well. And I'm sad. I thought we'd raise our family in this great house we're leaving. I've been trying hard to be upbeat about it. I know we're still very blessed. Very fortunate. I don't need this "dream house." I know any house can be a home and our next one is a fine little place, but still, I just can't help feeling blue, especially when I remember how blessed we felt moving in. This is the house our kids from Ghana came home to and now, we're leaving it for a house that we like, but don't love.

Oh well. Life moves on. I need to focus on the things about this house that I don't like (like no central air on the ground floor in the dead heat of August- that's an easy one!) and remember all the things about the new place that I do like (like updated windows, sure to save us a bundle this winter). Been trying to do that for a long time and it mostly works, until I look out the beautiful picture window to the window boxed filled with impatiens or over at the hearth where our stockings hung. Sigh.

Beam Cabin is Heavenly!

2010-08-07T17:47:00.000-07:00

We had the good fortune to spend 3 nights at a wonderful place- Beam Cabin on Lake Crescent near Port Angeles. We rode the ferry, swam and paddled in the rowboat, read, hiked, and met up with the Jag family for a few hours. It was a wonderfully renewing time. All of the kids learned the art of playing checkers too!

Our hike to Marymere Falls (the only time we left the cabin!)...

Disney World!

2010-07-21T20:28:00.000-07:00

I took the older kiddos to Disney World (the little guys will get the next trip) under the "Dad hates to fly but will let me go on adventures with the kids and by keeping the group 4 or less we can all get in one hotel room and afford the airfare deal." We will still do road trips as a full family, but a few flying trips with smaller groups will be thrown in there too. :) We had a GREAT time and even got one special surprise on our Epcot day that blew us away!

The first pics here are from the Magic Kingdom...

This is from the Animal Kingdom, the next day, where we got in early for a character breakfast at Tusker House. Wonderful food and lovely character interactions...

I enjoyed the Safari- we saw oodles of animals!

We ventured to Dinoland USA with some fun rides and a retro vibe.

The Tree of Life was gorgeous- so intricately detailed with lovely animal carvings.

Cooling off at the petting area...

Our 3rd and 4th days we spent at Epcot. The kids LOVED this park, especially all the interactive activities and, best of all, we were chosen to be the Family of the Day and got to lead the countdown to the park opening! So fun and special!!!

Here is the magical, wonderful Wanda. She was the lady that picked us!

Our character breakfast in Norway's Akershus was a lovely experience!

The kids loved making masks and visiting all the different countries to get stamps and die cuts that represented them.

Another favorite was the Kim Possible Secret agent quest. The kids are looking for their clues while I am enjoying some of the lovely flowers. :)

A pic from our hotel, Pop Century. Great place to stay. Loved the bus service.

2nd day at Epcot- the kids have been eaten by Bruce!

We finished that evening with a fantastic time at the Hoop Dee Doo Musical Review. The jokes were corny, but fun with a talented cast, both with their singing and comedic timing. A HUGE highlight for us!

The whole place was spinning those napkins!

There are no featured pics from Hollywood Studios. I only took 4 because I was sooooo sick we only stayed long enough for the kids to ride the big ones and we went back to the hotel. I was riding the Toilet of Terror and trying NOT to ride the Vomit Comet. Not pretty. I felt better, though not great the next, and last, day of our trip. Here we are at the Crystal Palace for our last character meal...

We were so happy to meet Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen!!!

Some last minute, out of order shots...

This one was taken by photo pass photographers as we saw our characters (Minnie and Goofy) at our Disney Visa meet and greet. I think Ellen and I both look like a couple of excited 5 year olds! :)

It was a fabulous trip with SO many great memories, but we're all glad to be home with the whole family again!

A visit with he K-man

2010-07-11T08:01:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a lot of fun. We've had cousin Kaleb (not technically a cousin, but he is a family member that feels a lot like a cousin), age 11, staying with us all week long. Everybody has really enjoyed having him with us. We've been mostly enjoying the free bounty of summer- swimming, sprinklers, the park, tag, etc. What more could any kid need? We've loved having Kaleb with us and look forward to many, many more visits with him in the future.

We also did one very special activity during his visit. We went up to Leavenworth and went on an hour long horseback trail ride. It was so much fun! The kids absolutely loved it. This ride was hard earned by one of the kids in our family that has had issues with truth telling and sneakiness. For 2 while months this child earned a star for each day there was truth and honesty throughout the day. Not every day earned a star, but most did and, for this child, it was a "dream come true" to ride a horse. And the truth telling persists- yea! There have been lots of talks about trust and what that means with relationships- that, coupled with a very huge carrot for making a change, has made a big difference. I'm sure proud of this person for making a change that will have such an impact in life. :)

I've been trying to load a few more horse riding photos, but blogger is being stinky, so I could only get these few to load.

The Importance of Friends

2010-07-05T08:09:00.000-07:00

I've long believed that God gifts us with special people at the right times. Many of those special people are there for a phase of life and then fade, which is natural, but there are those very special few that stay with us once that bond is formed and travel through life with us. This past weekend I had a chance to spend some time with the friend that has traveled with me through life since the end of high school, when we got connected. Candida is the best friend I could have ever had- she knows all of me and loves me. She understands things that nobody else could and we have encouraged each other to walk through some very dark places that needed to be explored. Through every stretch of life, she is there with no judgment, just love. She always checks in. She never forgets me, even when life gets busy. We aren't the kind of friends that can go a year without talking and pick up where we left off because we could never go more than a few weeks without connecting!

And we laugh. SO much laughter! Her sense of humor and mine are a perfect match and, together, we have made some pretty hilarious memories throughout the years. Let's see- horror videos, convenience store robbery videos, miming (both conventional and inappropriate), Footloose routines, frisky kittens, carnival queens- the list goes on and on. This weekend we were able to add a few more (Gene Juarez & Turquoise M. Stick), plus we talked and talked about everything going on in our lives.

I love my Dida and I have always believed that God gave us each other. We needed each other in so many ways. Neither of us can imagine life without the other in it and we both credit each other with helping to get past some hurdles that we aren't sure we could have moved through without our friendship. Love, laughter and understanding. What beautiful gifts! I love you Dida!

Mini AAI Reunion at Confluence Park

2010-06-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

Whoops, loaded these bad boys backwards, but oh well! Here are some shots from our short visit with some of the families from AAI (our agency) that were having a mini-reunion at Confluence State park in our home town. Thanks to Hilda and family for inviting us!

The boys really enjoyed Hilda's oldest son. He was talented with the bucket o'water!

Yaw and Victoria are leaping the gigantic waves. ;)

The girls, finding the water too cold, did some posing, including this "silly shot."

Jonah is Galen's #1 fan and really wanted a picture with him. :)

Hilda on the left and me on the right.

This shot may be my favorite picture of Ellen ever. Chester is planning on turning it into an art piece. :)

Can you tell the water is cold? ;)

Break, brilliant break!

2010-06-23T16:29:00.000-07:00

Well, we are in full swing summer break mode right now and I am LOVING it! Time to hang out with the kids- play in the water, snuggle, relish delicious frozen grapes together (it is our new favorite dessert). Time to tackle some organizational/moving stuff- sorting closets, packing some boxes in a leisurely way. Time to do some things I want to do- like read a grown up book, play piano, Zumba/Yoga class. Time to relax and cook things that sound good rather that "what do I have time for that needs to be made before it goes bad." I am really enjoying it.

The kids are doing an evening vacation bible school this week and are loving that, so tonight Chester and I will have a little dinner out while they are there. We've also been doing some light school work and next week we will dive in a little deeper while Chester teaches summer school. The kids are all reading books they are really "in to" right now, so that helps with motivation to keep reading! Luke is reading Found by Margaret Peterson Haddix and Ellen is enjoying Ellie McDoodle, New Kid in School by Ruth McNally Barshaw, which are both 2011 Sasquatch nominees. Elizabeth is into Amber Brown and Yaw is liking the Geronimo Stilton series. We will be getting signed up for the library's summer reading program on Thursday. :)

And right now, Chester is doing an art project with the kids and I am blogging. :) Tomorrow we're going to Leavenworth to do a little hiking and shop my mom's store, since she gave me a gift certificate for Mother's Day- wahoo! We'll get the kids some ice cream, stroll the town and just enjoy not having anywhere to be at any particular time. Yes. The break is GOOD!

Happy Father's Day to the Papas!

2010-06-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

There is always a part of me that wishes I knew what it was like to feel love and gratitude towards a father. I hear about the special relationships that girls have with their dads and I really don't understand it, but I wish I did. The closest thing I have to enjoying that is a good relationship with a step-dad (that began when I was almost 16, so a little late in the game to truly be a "Dad") and watching my amazing husband father his children. I am thankful for both.

My husband is a great father- reliable, consistent, loving, supportive and fun. Our kids are blessed to have him and know he will always be there for them. I am glad for him and all of the other fathers out there that show children what a real man is and what a good husband and father look like. Happy Father's Day!

National Boards- done!

2010-06-12T21:10:00.000-07:00

Today was a big day for our family. Chester and I took our National Boards exams this morning! One of the exercises for me felt like it was a very unlikely scenario, so I wasn't as prepared as I'd like and felt poopy about, 2 of them I felt ok about, and 3 I felt really good about. Chester felt good about 3 of his and the other 3? Well, let's just say that as hard and as long as he studied, I am floored that he got thrown 3 that he didn't *know,* but that is exactly what happened. He doesn't feel great, but I am hoping he just isn't giving himself enough credit, ya know?

It is a pretty intimidating process- they are super high security with palm print vein scans when you enter and leave the room. Photo ID's, electronic capturing of signature, photos and a stool sample (ok, so maybe not that last one). I did feel a sense of relief that there was no body cavity search! We took it all the way in Yakima (2 hours from home) and bless the sweet ladies that work there. They made us feel as welcome and comfortable as possible as they were scanning us and double checking everything.

Since the decision to pursue this last August, it has been on our minds frequently (literally daily). It just never leaves you- always weighing on your mind, always needing to be attended to. It is a huge process to work through- starting with the 4 portfolio entries with video taping and extensive analysis and then finishing with taking the assessment center exercises, which is the part we did today. There are 6 assessments with 1-4 prompts per assessment and they are straight essay questions. You'd better know your stuff! No lucky guesses here.

We've worked really hard to prepare while still working full-time and being focused on our family as much as we can. The kids haven't minded too much because they've gotten to do "technology stuff" during our major work sessions. :) They have been great through it all and know the reason we are wanting to do it is because it will be a huge benefit to our family financially. This is how we are going to be able to beef up our down payment to buy our next house (you get a yearly bonus for the 10 years of the certificate)- one that is big enough for us. If we don't pass this year, we can bank our good scores and redo the sections we didn't pass, but that does mean that we'll be another year away from buying our next house. I am not going to be down for long if that happens because it is a want (our needs are met, we have housing and will have housing), but it sure would be nice to pass it the first year and get that much closer to being able to firmly plant our roots rather than renting. If we pass the first year we think we'll be ready to buy in 2 years, but if not, then 3 (or, shudder, 4). :)

I am hugely relieved to not have it weighing me down any longer and not having Chester weighed down either. Tomorrow is all about water fun and making S'mores with the kids. The REAL important stuff. :)

Natural Ability- What a gift!

2010-06-03T20:47:00.000-07:00

We had our district track meet today. The 3 older kids participated- Luke did the mile and met his goal of running the whole thing. Good for him! And his sisters? Well, they were AMAZING! They got 1st in the entire district in everything they did. These are second graders winning against 2-5th grade kids. Ellen took the 50m, standing long jump and, with her sister, the relay. Elizabeth took the 75m and the triple long jump. The video is of Elizabeth. Ellen performed quite similarly, but the angle of that video wasn't as good. I feel like I can brag a little since I literally have nothing to do with their genes or God given gifts. I'll admit, I was dreaming of scholarships for our girls today. And Luke? While he isn't a track star, he didn't give up and he met his goal. Plus he handled not doing as well as he would have liked in a way that made us very proud. :)

Raffle for Mary

2010-05-30T22:27:00.001-07:00

I am so happy to share that, between both of our schools, the generous staff contributed $314 dollars to help bring Mary home! The donation was made on the From Diapers to Dorms blog (address on the right) and will be added to other funds to help wonderful Mary's forever family bring her home. Sadly, the right family has not been found, so if you are considering adoption and are open to the joys of older children, please visit the blog and read about sweet Mary here.

Chester will be drawing the name of the raffle winner June 7th and will then take their photo(s) and transform it into art! We are so grateful to the staff for reaching out to help Mary and we pray that God brings this wonderful girl the family she deserves!

Speaking about adoption

2010-05-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

This last week I was asked to go to an Early Childhood Education class about families and speak about our adoption experience. It was profound on many levels. In a 45 minute presentation I walked back through our entire process from decision to today. From choosing an ethical agency to following our guts with which country to adopt from (Anita pulled us to Ghana- it felt "right" when we talked, I believe because we were always meant to parent THESE 3 children) and going from adopting one 4 year old girl to adopting a sibling group of 3, complete with a wave of grief over losing the 2 we thought we'd parent, which I haven't felt literally in years.

Then we discussed homecoming and the challenges- tantrums (our kids couldn't communicate how they felt and with no other way to process the frustration, tantrums abounded- reading about it didn't mean it was easy to live, especially with 3), attachment between parents AND siblings, our biological kids' adjustment, dealing with going from 4 to 7 family members, and persistent issues (like food gorging, which I suspect will be an issue that continues to come up from time to time for one when insecurity creeps in). Also, we talked about how to help educators understand some of the unique issues that adopted children, especially older children, may be dealing with... knowing that while some behaviors may be the same as other kids, but the reasons for them may be different and the amplification might be louder for these behaviors. Knowing that certain holidays might feel different for them, especially days like Mother's Day and Father's Day. Knowing that sometimes a really caring teacher can be confusing for attachment issues... all things to keep in mind. Openness to learning about these issues will be key in supporting adoptive families.

And then, I talked about how we are now and I literally had tears in my eyes. Our family is beautifully complete. Attachments are pretty well in place. The love between the siblings is deep and honest. The kids are all thriving and know how valued they are in our family and how we wouldn't be us without any one of them. Our kids understand how to love other people, which was something that was somewhat mysterious at first. They didn't always know how to treat people (like when people get hurt, we check to see how they are and try to help. Laughing might have been something that was ok for you to do in the orphanage, but here we need to show caring and concern). We NOW are dealing with pretty much normal kid stuff (with a little sweets hoarding thrown in every once in a while).

Students in the class were incredibly receptive and wanted to know. They listened and questioned and I was open to whatever they wanted to ask. They asked thoughtful questions that showed the need to understand. A few wept a bit at times and I felt completely safe in sharing with them our family's truth. When I went to go, they wanted to meet the kids so much that I brought our family back to meet them. The kids were a little shy (except Luke), but warmed quickly and loved that people were interested in meeting them. The class asked them sweet questions and embraced them with such love. One asked the girls a "tough" question- if it was hard for them when they first came home and her honest answer said it all, "Yes. It was hard because we didn't speak the language and we didn't always know what they were telling us to do." Even she knew how challenging that language barrier was at first, but hearing her express herself that night was a celebration of just how far they've come in that regard as well.

One student had mentioned she wanted to adopt and when the kids heard that, they started talking about Mary. :) Sweet Mary, the girl we pray for every night... All of our kids rallied for Mary to be considered- she has been waiting for a family for more than 2 years and she is such a sweet girl! I did have to let the kids know that she is considering it for the future, but how wonderful they were to not forget Mary. :)

The professor of the class has asked me to return next year and she shared that some of her students said it was the most profound experience they have had in college. :) That feels great to hear. It also feels indescribable to know where our family is today. I am so blessed, so loved, so honored to parent these 5 incredible children. Our family isn't perfect, but I can't imagine perfection being anything better than this. I was glad to take the time to do this presentation and I got so much out of it for myself- a celebration of us and of our journey to become a loving family of 7.